Husband is caught twice helping out younger women without telling wife

Dear Abby: I have been married for 26 years. Five years ago, my husband gave a young lady $5,000 through credit card charges over a six-month period. We are not wealthy. When I found the charges in our credit report, he took a second job to pay it off.

I don’t think their relationship was sexual because he is impotent. It was hurtful.

Recently, I caught him going to another young lady’s apartment to help her with things like hanging a TV. I don’t care if he helps people. What I DO care about is his sneaking around. I have tried talking to him about why he feels he needs to sneak. He has no answer. What makes men sneak?

— Deceived in Kentucky

Dear Deceived: Your husband may fear your disapproval of his relationships — however platonic they may be — with these younger women. What makes people of both genders sneak, by the way, is usually a sense of guilt.

Dear Abby: Our son, “Justin,” is getting married. He told his dad the other day that his fiancee would like for my husband to go with Justin to his salon to get his hair cut and beard trimmed for the wedding. My husband is upset about it because he feels his soon-to-be daughter-in-law is implying that his haircut isn’t good enough. As the wife and future motherin-law, I’m unsure how to handle this situation. Help, please.

— Grooming Groom’s Dad in Georgia

Dear G.G.D.I.G.:

Try to get your offended spouse to laugh about it. Point out that EVERYONE looks better with a fresh haircut and a trim. Even you and me. Most people want to spruce up and make themselves more presentable for a special event.