Woman’s sudden negativity worries her expecting daughter, son-in-law

Dear Abby: I’m eight months pregnant with my first child. My usually happy and positive mother is becoming increasingly quick to become negative or angry. The change in her personality has my husband and me concerned about our little one growing up around her.

We don’t want our child to assume these characteristics by imitating her grandmother. I can’t imagine Mom not being around her grandchild, and I know I’ll need her help, but I can’t bear the thought of our child mirroring these behaviors.

— First-time Mom in

Florida

Dear Mom: Talk to her about it. She may need to be examined by her doctor to determine if something is medically or neurologically wrong with her. If nothing is wrong, you and your husband may need to decide if you would be more comfortable limiting your mother’s time with the baby and hiring someone to help you care for your child.

Dear Abby: My fiance and I have been having food wars with our parents since we started dating. Because of our lack of money, we can’t move out of our parents’ houses yet. My parents fight or yell at me for wanting to eat the kind of food we want. My fiance’s mother wants us to never buy our own food and to eat hamburgers and hot dogs every night. She even goes through the trash and yells at my fiance about spending money on food when it’s his own money he is spending. How can we keep the peace? So far, we have been eating in the car like nomads.

— What’s Eating Us in Ohio

Dear What’s Eating:

Tolerating your parents’ behavior is the price you and your fiance are paying for roofs over your heads until the two of you can save enough for a place of your own. Until that happens, you may have to bide your time.