In-laws are all take and no give when it comes to leftover dishes

Dear Abby: I once hosted a holiday dinner for which I had made a ham and a turkey with all the sides and three different pies. I even made a special mince pie for one of the guests. The guests — my brothers-in-law, my brother and his family of four and his mother-in-law — all showed up carrying empty Tupperware. At the end of the day, all I had left was dirty dishes.

The same family then invited me and my husband for a holiday dinner. My husband wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t go. When I asked my sisterin-law if I could take a plate home for him, she said, “Nope! If he doesn’t want to come to the house, he can’t have any of the food.” Yes, Abby, she was serious.

My sister-in-law cooks the meat she received as a gift from her employer, and the rest of the guests prepare the sides and desserts. At the end of the meal, she transfers any leftovers to their own Tupperware and gives us back the cleaned bowls. If I ask for a little of something to take home, she protects her leftovers like they were her children. What’s your take on leftovers?

— Hoping for a Sandwich Later

Dear Hoping: If you would like the living, breathing definition of presumptuous guests and ungracious hosts, look no further than your in-laws’ contact file. The fault, however, may not lie solely with them. If this has happened more than once and you cannot summon the courage to tell these greedy folks to put away their Tupperware and help with the dishes, you can’t blame them for assuming you don’t mind. As to the sister-in-law who refused to allow you to bring any of her food to your sick husband, I wouldn’t blame you if you chose not to grace her table again.