Grievances! Why are we so angry?
Deeply held grievances unchecked can and will inevitably lead to hate that will completely submerge itself into the psyche and later surface in various places and in various forms.
Listen to the noise around us. There are hurting people crying foul every day. Some are hurting because they want to hurt and others are hurting because they accuse someone else of causing the pain. Everyone has a grudge and seems to be at the rope’s end or the last straw level.
Once upon a time when we were “human” our aim was not to kill each other, but these days it has come to that point. Yelling and name calling is the name of the game. Because of the built-up frustration, what should be a civil conversation in an insidevoice actually begins with outdoorvoice for all to hear.
Many are blaming it on the violence on TV or in the games that children play. I beg to differ. Their grievances are the result of humans forgetting what it was like to be human and what it is like to treat each other humanely.
The other day my husband and I were remembering the days when neighbors would knock on each other’s doors and ask to borrow an onion, a cup of milk or a cup of sugar, and no one in the neighborhood spoke about it to the next neighbor. The parent in the house of need very seldom came. One of the children was always sent and the word “borrow” had to be used, but it was understood by both sides that the items would not be returned. Some families borrowed more than others, but that was not discussed. We recalled when keys to the tractor were left in the ignition and the smokehouse was left unlocked year-round.
What happened to the neighborly concern that we experienced in this community? If it existed in one part of the country, it was everywhere. What has happened in the homes and communities to bring about so much division and unneighborly behavior? Now, rather than send a child to borrow, the adult will now most likely go steal what the family wants or needs.
Every individual, every group, everybody seems to have reached the point of “no more, because I have had enough” at the same time. Everyone wants answers and solutions to their problem at the very same time. That is why it seems that everyone is burning with rage at home, in churches, in associations, in town halls, on the roadways, in schools — and the anger and hatred are everywhere.
Unresolved grievances, if allowed to stand for long periods of time, will eventually lead to hate. Hate is what we now see rearing its ugly head. When hate dominates the room there is no room for compromising or understanding the other person’s point of view. Hate is usually too dug-in for the calming voice to take center stage. The hate that is the result of unsolved grievances can only see one viewpoint and that is its very own.
So we ask, “What are we so angry about?” With hate taking first place the blinders are on, so the problem is always they or them.
Some are angry because the laws are not being applied equally. Some people are angry because the country does not look the same. Some are angry because the stock market is losing money. Some people are angry because they have been lied to. Some people are angry because immigrants are entering the country and America is not letting them starve and go without medical service. Some are angry because they feel as if one group is getting a free lunch. Some are angry because LGBTQ groups are asking to be treated as human beings. Some are angry because people who are different are announcing to the world that man did not make himself so we need to treat people with dignity and kindness. Some have allowed their unsettled grievance to turn into hate for any one who is supporting the other group.
There is so much widespread division and it is seen even in the media, which was designed to help communities network with each other. As a community seeking a more perfect union, one must decide if the grievances are petty, honorable or justified. When this country fought to separate from the British Crown, King George III was given 27 Grievances to justify the request from the Colonies for their governmental freedom. The colonies considered all 27 to be honorable and justifiable. They considered none to be selfish and petty. Can we honestly say what they said with a straight face?
Many of us walking with grievances that have turned to hatred might be wise to stop looking out the window at “them” and pick up the mirror and search ourselves.