Man can no longer support his ne’erdo-well brother in and out of jail

Dear Abby: My brother (eight years younger) has been hooked on drugs and in and out of jail for decades. Our father passed away five years ago. My brother lived with him in a different state until then. Prior to that, he stole from our mother and from me repeatedly.

He’s a criminal and is currently in jail. When he’s not in jail, he is homeless. Of course, the only time we hear from him is when he needs money. To top it off, my special-needs son recently passed away. Of course, my wife and I are devastated, although we have come to terms with the fact that he is in a better place.

With my brother back in jail, the focus has gone back to him. I have always tried to be a good brother, but I have now completely washed my hands of him. At this point, I need peace in my life, and as long as he is in mine, I will never have it. This crushes my mother, but it’s how I feel. Right or wrong, I don’t feel that just because someone is family, it gives them the right to make others miserable. I would love to know your thoughts on this.

— Better Brother In

Florida

Dear Brother: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your beloved son. That you feel you cannot handle the added stress of interacting with or supporting your drugaddicted brother (who has stolen from you) is understandable.

Do not allow your mother to guilt you into doing anything with which you are uncomfortable. If your mother decides to take him in when he’s released, caution her to first remove any items of value from her home.