Wife resists husband’s plan to cut ties with family

DEAR ABBY » My mother-in-law is the WORST! She has no respect for me. She has stolen, lied and gossiped about me numerous times.

Recently, my husband made clear that he wants to cut ties with his mother and siblings because they constantly belittle his success and ask to borrow money. My problem is, I can’t agree to it. I despise his mother, but I was raised to believe families should never sever ties.

My husband and I constantly argue because I continue to communicate with his mother and extend invitations to her. Abby, I just want to do the right thing, but I can’t seem to figure out what the right thing to do is.

— S.O.S. in Guam

DEAR S.O.S. » Unless you want continuing discord in your marriage, respect your husband’s wishes. Recognize that his family is extremely dysfunctional and do as he asks. If you don’t, the arguments will escalate until they damage your relationship with him.

DEAR ABBY » I was taught to speak first when entering a room, a building, etc. However, my wife’s family doesn’t practice this. Recently, her sister, upon entering a room I was in, failed to speak first. After I said hello, she said, “I was wondering when you were going to say something.” Are there etiquette guidelines that speak to this situation?

— Entering in the East

DEAR ENTERING » If there is a rule about who should speak first, I confess I have never heard of it. I know that it is proper for a woman to extend her hand (first) in a social situation if she wants to observe the formality, but that’s as far as it goes. When it comes to who says hello first, common sense should rule.