Boyfriend shows true colors after diagnosis

DEAR ABBY » I need your opinion. I have been with the same guy for 27 years. We never married because we were both married before, and I wasn’t into doing it again. I have stuck by him through sickness, hard times and whatever else.

Four months ago I was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. I stopped by his house this week to pick up a rug scrubber and walked in on him having sex with some woman. I feel hurt, angry, mad, sad. It’s like, WHY? Do you think he has been doing this and he just got caught or what?

I didn’t say anything. I just left. He called me later and said it was over between us because I’m sick and “can’t do anything.” I’m in shock. I don’t know what to think. I have always been there for him. So why, now that I’m sick and I need him the most, has he turned his back on me?

— Blindsided

in Ohio

DEAR BLINDSIDED » I am so, so sorry that you had to find out this way — when the chips are down — that the man you have been involved with for 27 years isn’t much of a man after all. I DO think he has been doing this all these years.

Now it is time to marshal your friends and family and let them know what’s going on. If you have been a caring and supportive friend or relative, they should be supportive during this challenging time. The American Cancer Society has support groups for people with cancer if you need someone to talk to. Its website is cancer.org. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers for both a spiritual and physical recovery.