Royal Oak Tribune

Results of nephew’s DNA test change shape of family tree

- Dear Abby Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY » My nephew “Dave” recently took a DNA test and discovered that my brother and I have a different father than our other two siblings.

I have lived my entire life with the understand­ing that my family is my family. Now Dave, who has an obsession with genealogy, has my brother and me listed as “half-siblings.” I am not a halfanythi­ng, and while DNA could be used to prove my father is not my father, I have no intention of testing my own DNA or contesting my parentage.

Maybe I’m out of line, but I want the “half” designatio­n removed from our family profile. I’m hoping you can give me a reality check. Am I blowing this out of proportion, or do you think it would be appropriat­e to ask him to remove the designatio­n?

— Whole, Not Half

in Indiana

DEAR WHOLE » I understand why you are upset. However, you seem to have interprete­d this as a personal insult or a value judgment on Dave’s part. It isn’t. This has nothing to do with the way you and your brother were raised; of COURSE your family is your family. But geneticall­y, you and your brother are different from the other two siblings, which is why I don’t think it would be appropriat­e to ask your nephew to remove the designatio­n.

DEAR ABBY » I’m 55, and my sister is 50. She has always been mean and hateful toward me. Even though I have done my best to keep her from going off the deep end, she has always struck back at me even meaner. She is schizophre­nic, paranoid and bipolar.

Despite my making her my maid of honor at my wedding (Mom forced me) and making her godmother at my child’s baptism, she has continued to be a beyond- evil demon because I didn’t do some things right, according to her. She has tried hard to turn my 19-yearold daughter against me and slams me for being a grandma to my grandchild. (She can’t have kids.) Family has always let her slide due to her mental illness. Please advise. — Beaten Down in


DEAR BEATEN DOWN » Your sister is a sick woman. If your daughter doesn’t understand that, make it clear to her. I don’t know how much input you have in your grandchild’s upbringing, but if there is any truth to what has been said, it may be time to use a lighter touch if you are being perceived as heavyhande­d.

By letting your sister’s behavior “slide due to her mental illness,” the rest of your family has contribute­d to the person she has become. However, this does not mean you must be involved with her, and if you are smart, you will start to disengage.

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