Royal Oak Tribune

Amid last-minute shopping sprees, here’s the ultimate American holiday gift list

- By Jennifer Rubin

We zoomed past Hanukkah and now have only a few days before Christmas, so our thoughts turn to holiday shopping. A great number of Republican­s deserve a lump of coal

(or a copy of the Constituti­on) for trying to sabotage our democracy, but many others deserve something more to close out the annus horribilis ( horrible year).

For pollsters, new algorithms and a heap of humility. The aura of certainty should be discarded in favor of techniques to explain potential outcomes based on various turnout models.

For House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, noise- canceling headphones to insulate the California Democrat from insane outbursts from the right and grumbling from the left.

For President- elect Joe Biden’s nominees, a stiff drink before facing the bloviating senators who will decide on their confirmati­ons. Perhaps they could also use a scorecard when those senators hypocritic­ally complain about mean tweets and corporate connection­s.

For the Republican Party, an entire makeover. Alas, cosmetics will not be enough, I fear, to restore its image.

For Republican­s who refused to go along with the MAGA crowd, a new party or a home in the Democratic Party.

For the Democratic Party, unity. Whatever their difference­s they are, they must find common ground to restore our democracy, revive our economy and clean up the mess the current administra­tion will leave behind.

For state bar associatio­ns, volunteers to peruse the briefs and oral arguments of lawyers who filed frivolous lawsuits and tried to overthrow our democracy, a necessary step before profession­al sanctions can be administer­ed.

For cable-TV news hosts, a buzzer or gong to signal a flatout lies from Republican­s when they come on their shows. Better yet, a new guest list that excludes those who have used those platforms to lie repeatedly to the public.

For the New York prosecutor­s investigat­ing Trump financial crimes, plenty of coffee and a thick skin.

For newspaper editors, cable

TV producers and reporters, a moratorium on coverage of the 45th president — unless he is indicted.

For every health- care worker, a vaccinatio­n and a long, wellearned vacation.

For the developers of -19 vaccines, the Nobel Prize for medicine.

For restaurant owners, all the space heaters they need for outdoor dining to get through the winter.

For the State Department, more attention, funding and respect in an administra­tion that respects diplomacy.

For the Environmen­tal Protection Agency, a new website that restores informatio­n about climate change.

For the Justice Department, a new code of ethics and a houseclean­ing to rehabilita­te its reputation.

For the intelligen­ce community, a president who believes them and not Russian President Vladimir Putin.

For the Supreme Court, restraint. Its credibilit­y is on the line. Wholesale reversal of precedent will leave its reputation in shreds and possibly end lifetime tenure.

For political scientists, a slew of theses and books on how we nearly lost our democracy and how to prevent a recurrence.

For teachers and students, inperson education.

For sports teams, fans back in the stands.

For all Americans, sanity, normalcy, -19 vaccinatio­n, the hugs of family and friends, indoor dining, airplane rides, live entertainm­ent and a functional democracy.

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