Mom shunned when playdates never materialize
DEAR ABBY » I am a mom of two boys, 8 and 12. They both have best friends whose moms I like and I would like to be friends with. My problem is, when we set up a playdate for the boys or make plans, when the time comes around and I text them about it, I don’t hear back from them at all. I have even left phone messages a couple of times.
I’m bipolar, and I have social anxiety, so when
I say yes to something, it is huge for me. When they don’t respond, I feel as though I am annoying them or they’re mad at me for some reason. The rejection is starting to upset me, and it’s upsetting my children, especially my 8-year-old. My question: How do I deal with flaky moms without ruining my relationship with them?
— Rejected in
California
DEAR REJECTED » Have these women EVER agreed to a playdate with your children? Flaky is not the way I would describe them. Rude bordering on cruel would be more accurate.
It’s time to start cultivating relationships with other mothers. Do not personalize what has been happening because the way you have been treated has less to do with you than what it shows about them. In the future, rather than chase these moms, take your children to a park to play or enroll them in other activities.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)