Widow essentially disappears amid new romance

DEAR ABBY » My dear friend “Rose’s” husband died five years ago, and since then she has struggled with grief and loneliness. She immersed herself in her church, friends and family. We usually talked three to five times per week and we traveled together.

Rose decided to explore online dating. She met a man and her entire life changed. She has become totally involved, dependent, isolated and controlled. He wants nothing to do with any of her family, friends or church family. Rose has ceased all communication with others. In two months’ time she bought a life insurance policy, moved in with him and sold her house. No one knows her address or contact information. She has deleted her friends from Facebook and has ceased all communication with her family.

If asked, I believe she would say she’s happy. Meanwhile, we are left saddened, shocked and angry. Must we simply accept her lifestyle choice and move on?

— Baffled in Iowa

DEAR BAFFLED » Your friend appears to have become involved with a man who is more than a little controlling. That she would buy a life insurance policy, sell her house (!) and move in with him within the space of two months is shocking.

That said, however, Rose is an adult and has the right to make her own decisions, although it would have been immeasurably better had she run this scenario by an attorney or other trusted adviser before jumping in to the extent she has. If it’s any comfort to you, although you no longer have her contact information, I am sure she knows how to reach you and her family if she feels the need.