Man wants name to match his father

Dear Abby: I was the result of a one-night stand. I have a halfbrother who is the result of another failed relationship. My mother finally married a man who raised us as his own and gave us his last name. However, Mom wouldn’t tell me or my brother who our real fathers were.

Two years ago, I took an online DNA test and found my biological father. From the time I made contact, he and my new brothers have accepted me and my family and given us unconditional love.

Over the last two years I have wanted to change my last name, but I’m afraid to make the leap. I have a half-brother on my mother’s side with whom I share my stepfather’s last name. Many times I wanted to ask for his permission/ blessing, but I’m worried he will get angry and never speak to me again. I know he will think I am abandoning him if I do this. Am I selfish for wanting this name change, or should I seek to set the record straight?

Reclaiming My Name In Indiana

Dear Reclaiming: I think you should wait. Your stepfather took you into his home and his heart and gave you his name, and to change it now would be a poor way to repay his love and kindness. It might lessen the blow if you discuss hyphenating your last name.

Dear Abby: My mother-in-law has a key to my house. We left a key under the mat one day so she could get in to pick up something because I wasn’t going to be home when she arrived. I asked my husband to get the key back, but he is uncomfortable asking.

She and my father-in-law have been in our house twice more in our absence. We were out of town, and we were shocked to hear they had entered our home without asking. It was almost sneaky the way they did it, and when I talked to my husband about it, he was upset as well and took his anger out on me.

I asked my mother-in-law via text to please let us know when she was entering the house due to privacy. She’s now upset with me and says she doesn’t know when she will visit us again. Am I overreacting?

Keyed Up In Alabama

Dear Keyed Up: Your husband should ask his mother for the key back. By doing this now, it will establish your independence. If he can’t find the courage to insist upon the privacy you both deserve, change the locks.