Daughter is dating her parents’ friend DEAR ABBY

Dear Abby: My 30-year-old daughter and her husband separated three months ago. After three years of marriage and months of counseling, she moved in with my husband and me. We were delighted.

She started spending a lot of time helping a male friend renovate his house and has essentially been living with him since the COVID outbreak. It’s clearly more than a friendship. I have been open about my concern that she’s rushing into this relationship. I encouraged her to see a counselor on her own, which she is doing.

Tonight she shared that she is excited that he booked a trip for them for late summer. I’m struggling because she is still married, and I feel uncomfortable about her relationship with this new guy. Am I too old-fashioned?

Dear Mom: You are not too oldfashioned. You are the concerned mom of a woman who is on the rebound. Could it be she was already having feelings for this man as she was ending her marriage? I’m glad she listened to you and was willing to seek counseling. You gave her good advice.

Dear Abby: How can I converse with my parents who cannot and will not keep their political opinions to themselves? They literally cannot have a conversation of more than a few minutes that doesn’t spiral into a litany of complaints about the government. I end every conversation angry, either at myself for not speaking up or at them for not shutting up.

It does no good to ask them not to discuss politics. They say they’ll discuss what they want in their own home or remind me that I’m the one who can end it if I don’t like what I’m hearing. They have cut off family and friends for decades over differences of opinion.

I suggested they volunteer in their political community in hopes of redirecting their obsessions into something positive, but they refuse. I’m at a loss. I no longer hope for a relationship with them.

Dear Turned Off: When you call them, keep a list close by of things you want to tell them. Ask if they need anything you can provide, how they are doing healthwise, how they are managing with the social disruption that has taken place. Tell them how you are, what you have been doing and what you might have heard about family members or friends they know.