Cost may be obstacle to dream college

Dear Abby: My daughter was accepted at a college of her choice in Pennsylvania that offered loads of grant money. Our out-of-pocket is about $6,000 if she gets a Stafford loan or works this summer to help with the $4,500 that would be the loan. My husband is insisting on a community college, which she doesn’t want to attend. He constantly cites the fact that our house is in foreclosure and that he owes money to the IRS for his business, which is why things can’t be. I think our children should be able to do things if they’re workable.

Incidentally, our firstborn wanted to go to a particular college, but his father convinced him to go to the community college by promising he’d pay for it and get him a car. He never even taught the poor kid to drive. I offered professional driving lessons, but my son declined.

Now my husband is using the same tactics on my daughter. Should I send her to follow her dreams against his wishes?

Dear Mom: Sometimes the best-laid plans go awry because of circumstances beyond our control.

That said, I think you may be overdue to have a frank talk with your daughter about what she may have to do in order to supplement the grants being offered by the college of her choice.

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been together 15 years. We used to be inseparable. He was my best friend.

Ever since our daughter was born nine years ago, we rarely spend time together. Most of his free time is spent in the basement doing woodworking; I spend my time upstairs or outside. I don’t think he enjoys my company anymore.

I have told him this, and he says it’s not intentional, and he loves me more now than ever. But it feels to me like we are growing apart, and I am very lonely. Because my daughter is who I spend most of my time with, she is the one who suffers my moods when I’m sad and upset with him. What can we do to be friends again instead of just parents?

Dear Missing: Explain to your husband that you are lonely and need more of him than you have been getting since your daughter was born. Start exploring child care options and then schedule some adults-only date nights