When in doubt, pause; it’ll make everything better

There’s a lot of power in taking a pause. Better outcomes are often on the other side of briefly stepping back and taking a beat.

Pausing gives us the opportunity to choose how we want to show up, to stay present and connected, and it’s settling.

But it can be a bit unnatural, too.

In a world where doing, achieving, accomplishing and generally being busy are prized, it’s easy to be swept up in the hustle and bustle. It’s like we put our heads down and charge forward with daily tasks and various missions, disconnected from what matters most, inclined to be tense and reactive — in constant motion until we burn out or something stops us.

Like the cop who stopped me the other morning.

While I sat in the car, waiting to hear the outcome of driving 43 miles per hour in a 30 mph zone, I realized I had been caught up in a mindless rat race from the moment I got out of bed. The cop was right: I did need to slow down and stop for a second.

But I’d prefer to do that on my own accord.

Pausing can be useful in all kinds of situations. You could take a brief timeout midsentence before firing off something destructive in an angry rant. Or pause and connect to sensation in your body — say, your feet pressing into the floor — to keep you from delving into self-doubt or overthinking in a tense situation.

I notice leaders tend to pause as they speak. For some, it’s likely just strategy. For others, I imagine it’s how they stay rooted in their bodies and grounded in the moment

to share in an empowered and authentic way.

We can integrate this into anything. Say, getting into the car. Instead of buckling up and racing off, sit and take a deep breath. Arrive before leaving. It can feel pretty good.

Whenever we choose to hold,

what comes next will be more conscious. It really is as simple as it sounds. Just pause. Just step back for a second.

For me, it’s helpful to switch gears and tune into the sensation in my body. I’ll soften my muscles or take a deep breath. Focusing on something physical helps me

to more completely step back.

But there’s no right or wrong way of doing this. And, bottom line, it’s about slowing way down.

Mindlessness does not spell fun and joy, but pausing is a method for checking that. And it will help you live more consciously and authentically, and be able to connect with people in a meaningful way. It can pull us back from the vapid momentum that swiftly sweeps us up. In the space it provides, dust settles and what really matters gets clearer. It may not be a fix-all, it helps. Play with it, see what I mean. Just … pause.

Getty Images Pausing offers the opportunity to choose what we want to show, to stay present and connected, and it’s reliably settling.

MARCI SHARIFF Feeling Matters