San Antonio Express-News (Sunday)
How to grow older without getting old
Maybe it was that first time you needed reading glasses or that last bag of groceries that felt more like a bag of boulders. Or maybe now you grunt every time you tie your shoes or get out of bed. If you’re north of 40, chances are you’ve had that bummer of a moment when you tell yourself you’re getting too old for this … shhh, don’t even say it.
Caren Creech still remembers that downbeat refrain. It was five years ago when, at 53, she broke her ankle. Bad enough the Boerne library assistant tripped over her own two feet while walking a friend’s dog. The accident also happened on the last day of rehab from ACL surgery. For the dog.
“The dog was just standing there looking at me,” Creech said. “Before the broken ankle, I felt like I could do anything. Then (during physical therapy) I was so careful to act like a little old person so I wouldn’t break anything.”
Soon that little old person inside her head was making more noise. Creech figured she told herself she was getting old several times a day the first three years after her accident and that more of life was behind her than ahead.
Talk about talking yourself down. Studies show that too much self-talk focused on aging — like telling yourself that you’re now old — can become a self-fulfilling prophesy that pushes you over the hill much faster.
“I think a negative mindset could definitely lead to someone declining in their age as opposed to just sort of growing,” said Lisa Ann Rodriguez, director of outreach and advocacy for AARP Texas.
Rodriguez, 52, first heard that grumpy old voice inside her head about a year ago when she noticed her hearing wasn’t as sharp as it used to be. Suddenly captions became a godsend for understanding television shows and song lyrics.
“It could all be attributed to the days we all listened to the Rolling Stones,” said Rodriguez, who chalks up the current state of her post-50 hearing to years of blasting
AC/DC on her headphones and attending multiple Judas Priest concerts.
Rodriguez said hearing sensitivity is probably the biggest “damn, I’m old” gripe from AARP members and the middleaged. Which makes sense since statistically people start to lose their hearing in their 40s, according to hear-it.org, the world’s leading website on hearing and hearing loss.
So if such a mindset can prematurely age you, how do you turn back the clock, at least between your ears, so you can grow older without feeling like you’re just getting old?
Accept you’re never too old to feel young and replace those negative thoughts and stereotypes about aging with a youthful attitude and positive action.
“I think that just like anything else, having a positive mindset can do wonders to your mental but also your physical state,” Rodriguez said.
Finding or rediscovering that mindset starts with clearing your head of all that negativity. Dr. Fred Campbell, an internal medicine specialist and associate professor of medicine at UT Health San Antonio who is in his early 70s, recommends the ancient art of contemplation and mindfulness.
At least twice a week for 20 minutes, go to a quiet spot in your home or outside away from people. Sit and close your eyes or stare down at a single spot. Tell all your negative thoughts they are not important and should not dominate your waking mind. Then focus on the single idea of being rejuvenated. Use a mantra like “energy,” “youth” or “youthful energy.” Repeat it when the bad thoughts creep in.
Next comes action. The National Institute on Aging stresses on its website, nia.nih.gov, that older adults still can do many of the things they’ve enjoyed their whole lives. They just might have to tweak those routines a bit.
“Adjust your activities to your abilities at that particular time,” Campbell said. “Exercise is a tremendous facilitator of youth as we age.”
Talk with your physician about the physical activities you want to do and what you should adjust or avoid. Focus on what your body still can do rather than what it can’t. Then start small and build strength over time.
Campbell said one way to tweak your physical activity is to change how you measure it. For example, rather than trying to run a certain number of miles, run a certain number of minutes instead.
Rodriguez said no matter what the age, a runner is still a runner and a cook is still a cook. Maybe that means extra stretching for the next 5K or putting on reading glasses for the next recipe. The key is to accept those small accommodations as helpful ways to keep doing the things you love.
“The difference is being concerned and interested in adapting versus being terrified,” Campbell said.
That goes for technology, too. Campbell said many folks older than 50 suffer from what he calls “adaptation panic” when they can’t figure out how to fire up that Zoom video call or feel intimidated by other tech.
Help is just a click or phone call away. AARP’s Older Adults Technology Services, at oats.org or 920-666-1959, has a Senior Planet technology training center in San Antonio, seniorplanet.org or 210-5044862.
Campbell took on his own tech demons when he had to digitize all his handwritten medical notes and records. Typing was tough, so he turned to voice recognition software.
“I was daunted by technology, and I was saved by technology,” Campbell said.
Campbell said it’s a good idea for the middle-aged to commiserate their woes with their peers. But it’s also a good idea to keep in touch with the youth of today by doing youthful things.
“To me, if you’re interacting with younger people and talking about what they like, that is one incredible way to stay young,” said Campbell, who talks Taylor Swift with his granddaughter and goes to concerts with his adult children and on his own.
Need more proof you still can look and feel younger when you’re older? Last year, Rodriguez lost 60 pounds with the help of her physician. Diet and exercise helped, of course, but so did tuning out the naysayers, especially the ones in her mind.
“You can do anything you want at any age,” Rodriguez said. “And that in itself was proven (by) me.”
Creech shut up that little voice inside her head with a positive outlook and a treadmill she’s stuck with for the past couple of years. Now she tells herself she’s just growing older — not getting old — and to accept her limitations and try to enjoy the little things more.
“I’m not frustrated anymore,” Creech said. “I just kind of laugh it off and say, yeah, this is where we are.”