A complicated but beautiful day

Beyond the facade of a perfect Hallmark holiday, the roses, balloons and cards, Mother’s Day can be complicated.

Being a mom is hard. So is being a child.

None of us would be here without a mother, yet the circumstances of our lives can make the day difficult for many. Consider those who were unwanted babies. Consider women who have had miscarriages. Consider all who have lost their mothers to illness, accidents or violence. Consider those who yearn to become a mother, but can’t. Consider mothers and children who are estranged. The difficult scenarios are manifold — but so are the beautiful ones.

No mom is perfect. Yet, for many, this day is a time to reflect and show love.

My mom is a blessing. Last week, she surprised us by taking a flight to San Antonio from Arizona to help us celebrate my husband’s retirement.

She lives in Mathis, the small town where my brother, sister and I grew up, but she’s not there often. My mom has followed my brother, an Air Force senior master sergeant and his wife, an Air Force master sergeant, around the world for the last eight years of their military careers to help care for their children. They’ve lived in Florida, Utah, Japan and, now, Arizona. Helping to care for three young boys is no easy feat, but she puts her life aside to do it. Mom struggles with various health conditions that sometimes land her in the hospital in frightening situations.

My mom is known for her generous spirit. When she hears about a loved one’s suffering or need, she steps up to help. She gives and gives and gives, so much so that I often tell her to focus more on herself. “Life is short,” I tell her. “Enjoy your life.”

But Mom continues to give. She can’t help but nurture and love.

In February, my sister, who lives in Houston, and I traveled to my brother’s home in Arizona to surprise our mom for her 65th birthday. We wanted to celebrate this milestone in a big way. Mom always makes it clear that what she wants is all her children together, so we made it happen. Together, the three of us gifted her professional makeup and studio portrait sessions — firsts for her. It was wonderful to see Mom relish in the moments and love.

On Mother’s Day, I always reflect on my role as a mother. Getting pregnant at 19 changed, enriched and complicated my life. At times, it overwhelmed me. Being a young, low-income single mom with a baby with colic was hard, but his teenage years were much harder. I will always fiercely love my son. But looking back, I wonder: “Did I do it right? Am I doing it right?”

Of course, it’s complicated. All moms want to do their best, though we all fall short. But on my 42nd birthday Tuesday, my son gave me a beautiful gift — I

got something right. He not only called me on FaceTime, but also posted a heartfelt message on Facebook. A message of faith and love that reminded me that even though we’ve endured some hard times, we are good.

“Good morning everyone! Please help me wish my amazing and beautiful mother Nancy Martinez Preyor-Johnson a very happy birthday today!”

He then shared this quote from the Book of Proverbs: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction

is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ ”

“I love you mom and I hope that today is just as amazing as you are (heart emoji).”

May all moms and children feel loved — on Mother’s Day and all days.

Courtesy photo A family portrait in February was the perfect gift.