San Antonio Express-News (Sunday)
For it is written: Go forth and make a profit
In the King James Version of the Bible, John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the word was God.”
And so it has been written for thousands of years. BUT NOW! FOR THE RIDICULOUSLY LOW PRICE OF $59.99 — THAT’S RIGHT — ONLY $59.99 — YOU CAN OWN THE GOD BLESS THE USA BIBLE!
Why settle for a Bible inspired by the word of God when you can have one inspired by the words of country singer Lee Greenwood? FOR JUST $59.99! THAT’S NOT EVEN $60!
Most people were probably unaware such a creation existed until they saw former President Donald Trump promoting it during Holy Week.
For millions of Christians around the world, Holy Week, culminating on Easter Sunday, is a time to rejoice in the resurrection of Jesus Christ after his crucifixion. For Trump, it’s apparently an opportunity to resurrect his dwindling fortune.
In a video commercial for the God Bless the USA Bible, Trump says, “All Americans need a Bible in their home, and I have many. It’s my favorite book. It’s a lot of peoples’ favorite book. … We have to bring Christianity back into our lives and into what will be again a great nation.”
Forgive those of us who doubt Trump has ever read any of his “many” Bibles or that Christianity or the ethical values of any religion or philosophy has ever been present in his life.
Speaking of forgiveness, in 2015, when asked if he’d ever sought forgiveness from God, Trump said he didn’t think he ever had.
Also in 2015, Trump was asked about his favorite Bible verse.
“I wouldn’t want to get into it because to me that’s very personal,” he answered. “You know, when I talk about the Bible, it’s very personal, so I don’t want to get into verses. … The Bible means a lot to me, but I don’t want to get into specifics.”
They were asking him for Bible verses, not highly sensitive state secrets, which we have since learned might be easier to get from him.
On the God Bless the USA Bible website, the book is described as “Easy-to-read, large print, and slim design, this Bible invites you to explore God’s Word anywhere, any time.”
Going on, it says, “This bible has been designed so that it delivers an easy reading experience in the trusted King James Version translation.”
Given Trump’s unfamiliarity with the Bible, one also wonders about his reaction upon learning he’d be hawking the King James Version.
“What?! There’s no way I’m endorsing anything by LeBron.”
The site’s description of the Bible concludes, “This large
print Bible will be perfect to take to church, a bible study, work, travel, etc.”
The God Bless the USA Bible also includes the Pledge of Allegiance, which was written by a Christian Socialist, and three other documents that Trump, if he has read them, doesn’t appear to understand: the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
Also included is the handwritten chorus to Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA.” What is the thinking behind adding the handwritten chorus to one’s biggest hit to the Bible? Do they believe this is an improvement?
The website stresses that the God Bless the USA Bible is the “only one” endorsed by Trump and Greenwood, meaning it’s the only one from whose sale they earn royalties, something the writers of the Scriptures didn’t do.
Delivery of the Greenwood/ Trump Bible will take four to six weeks.
If that’s too long, book a room in a hotel and take a Bible gifted by the Gideons, folks who care about its teachings.
This is a sacrilegious grift from the Book of Felonious, Chapter 11, verse 45, which reads, “Do onto others until they catch on to you.”