DeRozan sees hope in midst of difficult transition
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — There was no room for a proper psychiatrist’s couch. In fact, between the one teammate stretching with elastic bands, and the other player cracking jokes two stalls over, and the video coordinator hunched over a chair and a laptop a few feet away, there was barely room for anything at all.
For an impromptu therapy session, it’s hard to envision a lousier spot than the cramped visitors’ locker room of an NBA arena in the 90 minutes leading to tipoff. But an opportunity presented itself Tuesday evening at FedEx Forum, and considering that DeMar DeRozan was about to make himself scarce for a week during his first All-Star break as a Spur, it seemed like as good of a time as any to ask a delicate, possibly intrusive question.
Is he happy?
DeRozan didn’t have a simple answer for that. If you’re being honest on most days, would you? The truth rarely is as clearcut as “yes” or “no,” and a thoughtful DeRozan responded with neither of those words on a night when the Spurs wrapped up their first half with a slumpbusting 108-107 victory over the Grizzlies.
He’d have been lying if he’d said he was happy with the way he’s played over the past month, when nagging injuries to his knee and ankle have kept him off the floor for stretches and limited his effectiveness even when he’s been active. And he’d have been lying if he’d said he’s completely at peace with how his world was turned upside
down last summer, or completely at ease with where he is now.
Four months into his first season in San Antonio, has he achieved perfect happiness yet? Well, not quite. Of course not. But he is sure of one thing: He’s getting closer. “There’s different elements you have to go through to feel more accepting, more appreciative of something,” DeRozan said. “I was one thing for a long period of time. So, you know, it definitely takes time.”
Not many professional athletes talk like this. Heck, not many people talk like this. DeRozan is both self-aware and willing to discuss that self-awareness, which doesn’t happen often in locker rooms, or in many workplaces.
In Toronto, he spoke openly about occasional bouts of depression, hoping that by sharing his story he could help reduce the stigma for others. Tuesday in Memphis, he spoke candidly about how he feels much better than he did last summer, when he was traded away from the only professional organization he’d ever known, but conceded that he didn’t just wake up one day and feel better.
To be clear, he was not saying, “Woe is me.” He was not asking for sympathy. He was not making excuses for an up-anddown first 54 games in silver and black, during which he carried the team in some stretches and struggled to find his shot in others.
Instead, DeRozan was talking about an evolution that has occurred in increments after what was a jarring life change.
“It forces out another side of you that you probably didn’t know you had, because you were in a comfortable place,” DeRozan said. “For me, it’s been new things I’ve been figuring out in the process of getting back to my old self.”
There are nights, when his driving lanes to the basket seem to evaporate in front of his eyes and his shot won’t fall, when it looks like he needs a break. Over the break, which he’ll spend in Los Angeles, he might get exactly the kind of refresher he needed.
He’s going to drive his kids to school in the morning, and pick them up in the afternoon. He’s going to give his ankle and knee a chance to heal. But he’s also going to take time to remember something else, too.
“I’m kind of lucky, in a sense,” DeRozan said. “I’ve seen guys get traded and they didn’t know what to expect. They didn’t know what kind of place they were going to, what kind of role they would have. Everything changes for them. They might go to a terrible place.
“For me, I had a place I came to where the organization, the city, everybody was excited for me, and brought open arms with everything on and off the court. Something like that makes the transition a lot easier instead of going into it blind and trying to see who likes me, if I’m accepted here, do they really want me here? So for me, it was a positive.”
That’s the outlook those around DeRozan see. Spurs coach Gregg Popovich praised him Tuesday for being “communicative” and “forthright,” and Rudy Gay – one of his closest friends – said he thinks DeRozan’s confidence and attitude have been unshaken by a January slump.
As for the question about happiness?
“I wouldn’t say I’m down, or how I was in the summertime,” DeRozan said. “For me it’s just continuing to feel out everything, from the ups to the downs. In some ways the best way to learn things is to go through your adversity and struggle, because you know when you come out on top of it, it’s going to be worth it.”