Sister gets left out of the loop when her family visits

Dear Abby: I live in Atlanta, and my family lives four hours south. My brother travels here often to visit his girlfriend and their son. I never know he’s in town unless another family member mentions it. My parents and brother came here to attend my nephew’s school band concert. I learned about it after speaking with my grandmother the following day. Since then, I have spoken to my parents once briefly, and they still haven’t mentioned it.

I don’t want to make this about me, but I feel left out. Do I have the right to have hurt feelings? Dear Sister: You have the right to feel however you feel. I think it’s time for a family discussion, don’t you?

Dear Abby: I’ve always been very independent and haven’t had many serious relationships in my 34 years of life. For the last two years, I have been in a healthy relationship with a man.

On our first anniversary, although we had never talked about marriage, he surprised me with a proposal. I didn’t feel the excitement and joy that I had always pictured myself feeling when this moment finally happened to me. We haven’t set a wedding date, nor am I thrilled about getting married.

Do these blase feelings mean this isn’t the right person for me, or that I’m simply not ready for the next step? Dear Girl: My recommendation is that you two have a LONG engagement as well as premarital counseling, so you can both determine what’s important to you and if you are on the same page.