Friends choose other couple over reader, husband

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are in a gamenight group that meets once a week. There are six couples. There is no standing day; each week we basically take a vote, and whichever day works best for the greatest number of people becomes the day. Everyone has jobs and kids, so scheduling is tricky, but voting makes it cut-and-dried.

Except it has dawned on me recently that whenever there are two days that work for equal numbers of people, but we are available on Monday and the Johnsons are available on Tuesday, the group somehow always chooses Tuesday. Leading me to believe we are less well-liked than the Johnsons by these people — who are our best friends.

I know this seems like the sort of thing I would be imagining, but take my word for it, it’s so. I know this probably seems silly, but it hurts my pride! Do we need a new social group where we are considered indispensable?

Oh I believe you. I also believe these people do enjoy your company enough to choose it, because if they really didn’t like you, the group would dissolve, and because there’s enough between you to feel like best-friendship. You just lose every tiebreaker to the Johnsons. So what.

So the other four couples, give or take, like the Johnsons better. Of course it hurts and it’s important to use this opportunity to review your behavior for anything others might find obnoxious.

But having done that, sometimes your only real option is to hold up your one mildly unflattering review against everything else you know and appreciate about yourself and the life you’ve built.