Dysfunctional relationships collide in affair

Dear Abby: I’m a supervisor at my job and have feelings for a married man who also works here. He’s lonely and looks to me for attention, companionship, sex and to listen to his troubles. We have only had sex once, but I know I cannot continue this “relationship.”

It breaks my heart because I care for him deeply, and IF he was single, this is someone I could actually have a relationship with. I have already told him I won’t accept any more of his offers to walk me home, and to quit texting me. He’s open with his wife regarding dating other people. It seems she’s also “talking” to another man outside of their marriage. Am I delusional to think he will leave her for me? Would he have the same problems with me that he has with her? He has difficulty expressing his emotions, but I think he still loves his wife. I know their marriage is broken, and it’s not my job to fix it for them or to push him to choose me over her. It should not have to be this way.

Please, I would appreciate any advice you can offer. By the way, I’m also married, but my husband lives 7,000 miles away. After seven years, his immigration status still needs to be resolved. I’ll probably ask him for a divorce because, even though I care about him, I’m no longer in love with the man I married. He knows I have been dating someone because I told him.

In Knots in New York

Dear In Knots: Because of the unique circumstances of your marriage, you have some serious decisions to make. Do not drag your co-worker into it. IF there is the possibility of a future with him, he also needs to decide if he is satisfied with the status quo.