Mom thinks that her profane adult kids sound ‘crass’

Hi, Carolyn: I am the mother of three who are in their 20s. They all use foul language regularly. I have been known to drop an f-bomb or two when I stub a toe and such. For them, it is just an adverb or verb they use calmly and constantly.

I used to use foul language more often, until I worked with a guy who told me how offended he was by such words. As a result, I have cut back dramatically and use “gosh” or “heck” in online posts and in conversation. I feel like it makes my kids seem crass, or dull and unimaginative, while also being offensive to some.

I have asked them to clean it up once or twice. One of them told me I was just too sensitive and behind the times because “people just don’t get offended” by this anymore.

Anything I can do? Am I overly sensitive, or well-mannered?

Mother of Three

Did your epiphany come after your kids were mostly grown, or early enough in their formative arcs that your kitchen was a modern-day hecking Mayberry?

I may have no reason to ask besides morbid curiosity ... because either way, they’re launched. This isn’t a what-is-a-mother-to-do question anymore, not with your kids in their 20s.

Instead, it’s about where your authority ends and theirs (or anyone else’s) begins when it comes to decorum. Do you have standing to ask your kids to curb their profanity in your presence? Yes, you do, as anyone does. Do they have the right to ignore your requests? Yes, technically they do.