Boyfriend struggles to keep control of his temper, words

Dear Abby: I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and it has been great. However, he has serious anger issues that affect our relationship sometimes. It started with small arguments here and there. But as our relationship progressed, so did his mood swings and anger.

He has never hit me. Lately, though, his anger has gotten worse, and he says cruel things to me that he later apologizes for. During our arguments, he never listens to what I have to say. When the argument is over and I wait a couple days to explain how he hurt my feelings, he tells me I’m overly sensitive and to leave the past in the past.

During our last argument, he asked me how to seek professional help. How can I help him? Am I dumb staying with someone like this? Although I love him, I don’t know how long I can last with someone who is so angry all the time.

Broken in California

Dear Broken: Ask your doctor or your insurance provider for a referral to a psychologist who can either help your boyfriend or get him into an anger-management class. He definitely needs professional help, and it’s good that he knows it.

Although my knee-jerk impulse would be to tell you to end the relationship, that he is self-aware enough to know he needs help makes me inclined to suggest you stick with him a little longer and see how effective the therapy is.