Pets are family — and family can wait in the spare room

Dear Miss Manners: There is a debate among a local group on the topic of a dog owner’s responsibilities when hosting an event in their home.

One faction says, “My dogs are part of my family, so they’re going to be interacting with guests.” Another faction says, “As host, your responsibility is to your guests first, so your dog should be in a kennel or outside.”

My own thought is that our dogs are part of the family, but that we have a responsibility to train them in at least basic manners. Also, if I invite someone who hasn’t been to my home previously, it is my responsibility to tell them about the dogs so that they can decline if they have allergies or are otherwise uncomfortable with dogs.

I believe I understand my responsibilities as a dog owner, but I’m not sure of them as a host.

Gentle Reader: It seems to Miss Manners as if you have that reversed: namely, that you know your responsibilities as a host (looking out for the comfort of your guests) but not those of pet ownership (teaching family manners).

Frisky is welcome to roam the house when guests you know to be compatible with her are present. But there are also times, and methods, for managing interactions among family and guests — many of which do not leave anyone looking in the window with sad eyes while the rain pours down on them.

For instance, you expect your spouse to curtail a fixation on devices to spend time with the guests; you expect the children to come down and say hello; and you do not include your brother because he had a bad breakup with one of the guests 20 years ago.