CRAVING CATFISH, CIVIL CONVERSATION IN TODAY’S TIMES

A couple of weeks ago in this column I made a dire declaration: that civility is on life support. I reached that conclusion after watching the State of the Union address, where incivility was on full display.

If you’re less pessimistic than I, you might still agree that when it comes to being civil, we’ve fallen out of practice. Not so long ago in San Diego we had two clubs that brought together people with different viewpoints to discuss the most challenging issues of the day: the Catfish Club and the City Club. With the passing of their founders, Rev. George Walker Smith and George Mitrovich, our city lost two icons of civility and two outposts for civil discourse.

Smith died last month. His obituary in the Uniontribune describes him this way: “He had an abiding belief that if people simply committed to speaking with each other civilly and got to know one another, they would realize they were far more similar than different.”

In his book “From the Barrio to Washington: An Educator’s Journey,” Armando Rodriguez talks about Smith’s election to the San Diego Unified School District board in 1963. Rodriguez was his campaign manager. It was the beginning of Smith’s growing influence in our community.

He started the Colored Folks Club — a group that met in the church basement, ate catfish and engaged in dialogue on a range of hot topics. Before long, says Rodriguez, so many white people showed up for catfish (and conversation) that in 1970, the name was changed to the Catfish Club. Soon after its founding, the club became “a mandatory stop for aspiring politicians, elected officials and the quiet power brokers in the city,” according to the U-T.

A few years later, George Mitrovich founded the City Club of San Diego as a nonpartisan public forum. It had a diverse but mostly white membership. The club’s slogan, selected by Mitrovich, was “Dedicated to the Dialogue of Democracy.” Occasionally, the Catfish Club and City Club conducted joint meetings.

Mitrovich, who passed away in July 2019, was passionate about politics. He valued respectful give-andtake with others who held opposing views. A City Club tribute to Mitrovich describes him as a “crusader for the enduring tenets of democracy, civility and kindness.” He was named “Peacemaker of the Year” by the San Diego Mediation Center, as the National Conflict Resolution Center was previously called.

Writing about the City Club in 2006, Dean Nelson of Point Loma Nazarene University said, “Whenever I sense that all discourse in San Diego is headed down the toilet. … I simply go to the City Club. It renews my hope that it is still possible to be challenged and enlightened in a civil manner.”

Where do we go now, if not to the City Club or Catfish Club? As a community, we need more places to gather so we can ensure that the respectful exchange of ideas continues. Attendance at houses of worship is declining. So are the ranks of membership organizations. As these critical networks crumble — and with them, their underlying relationships — we lose social capital.

Smith and Mitrovich both recognized the importance of interpersonal engagement in achieving a strong and civil democracy. Dialogue leads to greater understanding — whether it occurs at a club meeting or in a church social hall. When we participate in a discussion, even if (or especially when) it’s with someone who has a different point of view, we learn. The loss of the Catfish Club and City Club creates a gaping hole in our social fabric that we must fill, with urgency.

Dinkin is president of the National Conflict Resolution Center, a San Diego-based organization working to create innovative solutions to challenging issues, including intolerance and incivility. NCRC is nationally recognized for its conflict management and communication strategies. To learn about NCRC’S programming, visit ncrconline.com

U-T FILE The Rev. George Walker Smith, at his San Diego church in April 1999, died Feb. 15 at age 91.