Get over money envy, keep focus on yours

Dear Liz: I am a 41-yearold man who is married with small children. I have finally reached the point financially where I am meeting or exceeding personal goals for retirement, college savings and reduced monthly expenses. I have a high income. I drive a piece of crap car because it’s paid for, but I am still hemorrhaging cash! Yet my peers are buying second homes at the lake or in ski country. What am I doing wrong?

Answer: Congratulations! You’re doing a lot right with your money, and you may not be doing anything wrong. To borrow a phrase, you can’t judge your insides by other people’s outsides.

Some of your peers may have inherited money, or received infusions from generous parents. More likely, they’re not saving enough, or at all, for retirement or their children’s educations.

They also may be deeply in debt. Although their lives may look good on the outside now, their futures may be a lot less flush.

You can’t know how other households conduct their financial affairs, so keep focusing on your own situation and how you can make it better. If you feel like you’re hemorrhaging cash, track where the money is going for a while. If you discover as a family that you’re spending on things that aren’t important to you, you and your spouse can look for ways to redirect spending to better support your values.

Her dead ex’s kids can’t dictate benefits

Dear Liz: My husband and I were living apart but not legally separated when he passed away. He was receiving disability benefits. His children, who are grown, tell me I am not eligible for widow or survivor benefits and that only they can collect his benefits. I am disabled myself and 51. Do their claims hold any weight? Could he have removed me as a recipient?

Answer: No and no. The children are wrong, not just about your eligibility for benefits but about their own. Social Security survivor benefits typically aren’t available to children over 18, but they are available to widows and widowers starting at age 60, or starting at 50 if the spouse is disabled.

As long as you weren’t