LATINOS ARE IN MOURNING ACROSS STATE

The pandemic has tremendously limited the traditional ways Latinos mourn, remember and honor their loved ones who die. That’s added to the pain of this community, which has borne the greatest number of deaths from COVID-19 in California.

For many Latinos, accompanying the person before, during and after their death is a part of a culture that is grounded in their Catholic faith, and combined with pre-hispanic customs. Death is both a moment of sadness and suffering as well as solidarity and hope.

In normal times, here’s how Hispanic families honor their loved ones who have passed.

Latinos need to say their adios when death comes calling. In my family, it’s important for grandparents or parents to give their blessings to the children and grandchildren before departing this world. Extended family members and friends also participate in this ritual. It’s common to see dozens of people gathered at the hospital or home of the dying person. It’s not only a way to support one another, but it’s also a moment to say goodbye, even in silence, to a person important to them. One of the most emotional times of my life was when I held my father’s hand to say goodbye and told him, “Don’t be afraid. Everything is going to be fine.” He had told me years earlier that he was afraid to die.

A wake is held at the home of the person who died, or at a funeral home or church. Participants dress in black or in neutral colors. Traditionally, the wake lasts throughout the night. The women remain inside, praying the rosary, while the men chat outside, drinking coffee or alcoholic beverages. They share stories about the person who died, their laments and laughter mingling with tears.

For the funeral, a Mass is held at a church with the body or the person’s ashes present. Afterward, the funeral

party travels to the cemetery. There, men carry the coffin on their shoulders to the site of interment. Some families take musicians to the gravesite to play the loved one’s favorite tunes. After the coffin is lowered into the grave, family members and friends drop a handful of soil on top of it, recalling that “You are dust and to dust you will return” (Genesis 3:19).

The next day, everyone gathers again in the home of

the person who died to begin a novena, a nine-day period of special prayers.

Traditionally, widows or mothers express their mourning by wearing black for as long as a year. And many homes hang a bow made out of black cloth on their door, a sign to respect the grieving.

The pandemic has made it virtually impossible for Latino families to observe these rituals together, instead mourning alone. The only thing that consoles them is the promise that one day they will see their loved one again in heaven.