CHECK ON VETERANS AND THEIR FAMILIES

To the veterans of Operation Enduring Freedom, to their families and especially to our Gold Star families, I just want to say my thoughts are with you all in this very difficult time. The events of this last week have hit us all pretty hard and left us very little time to make sense of it all. I can’t even begin to imagine what those left at the mercy of the Taliban are going through right now while once again in this generation not knowing which way their country is headed.

It’s been 10 years since I was last in Afghanistan, but seeing the videos and reading the stories on the news has brought it all back as if it was yesterday. It’s hard to grapple with situations you have no control over and to be so disconnected from a conflict that engulfed your entire life so many years ago. As the veteran community knows, it wasn’t just your life, it was the life of your family that had experienced deployments and knew the routine of going without a father, husband, wife, mother for months at time.

To friends, family members and colleagues of our Operation Enduring Freedom veterans, I ask that you please be mindful of those in your inner circle during this time and in the future. They are not experts on Afghanistan or the Taliban nor are they policy experts on the exit strategy of the current and past administrations. They are as much in the dark as you are. I know I am finding it difficult to concentrate at work, at home and generally just with activities of daily life as this looms in the background. Be aware that your questions, while well-intentioned, may trigger some hard memories, traumatic experiences or feelings of loss. It will help just to let them know that you are thinking of them and leave an open invitation should they want an outlet. For many, they may have experienced the worst day of their life in Afghanistan; it wouldn’t seem like a super fun subject to talk about at a backyard barbecue.

Whenever I am asked (and I have been asked hundreds of times) about the politics of a war/ conflict I was in, I usually say the same thing. I

didn’t care about the politics then. It was the last thing on my mind. I cared about my unit, our mission and the people I was honored to have served alongside. It was always about the people, not the politics. After a decade away from Afghanistan, that hasn’t changed. There will be plenty of time to blame this side or the other, but the people get lost in that exchange.

It’s been pretty aggravating to hear political pundits talk about the loss of Afghanistan as if it were the loss of a football game. I keep hearing and reading the word “waste” from many who might think it was all for nothing, a giant mistake. While my initial reaction was the same, I had to remember that holding those thoughts would demean the memory of the thousands we lost and all those who carry visible and invisible wounds of Operation Enduring Freedom.

That’s an interesting word — endure — one that has taken on a whole new meaning. In the last 20 years, we have seen that word mean “to remain in existence” and now “to suffer patiently.” For now, we must endure. The people of Afghanistan must endure.

Again, to my Operation Enduring Freedom brothers and sisters, don’t be afraid to reach out. Processing helps. Your mental health matters. It’s also OK to let your friends and family know that you need some time to process this all. Forgive yourself for being one of the lucky ones who came home. Forgive yourself for having strong feelings of guilt because you feel like it’s not right to complain because the people of Afghanistan are going through worse right now.

There are so many resources past generations of veterans did not have available that we can take advantage of. If you need help finding support, look up our local 211 organization or any number of nonprofit organizations and public sector programs offering free help to the veteran community and its families. Lastly, check on your battle buddies, your shipmates, fellow devil dogs and wingmen, especially the stubborn ones.

Semper Fi!