LET’S REFRAME OUR NARRATIVE TO HONOR DR. KING

Tomorrow, our country remembers civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Dr. King envisioned a world where his children wouldn’t be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

In a 1967 speech titled “America’s Chief Moral Dilemma,” Dr. King talked about the evil of racism and the struggle for genuine equality.

He believed that advances like integrating lunch counters and hotels — even guaranteeing the right to vote — were important but easy, because they didn’t cost the country anything.

To Dr. King, the real struggle for equality was just beginning. He said, “Now we are in a period where it will cost the nation billions of dollars to get rid of poverty, to get rid of slums, to make quality integrated education a reality. This is where we are now. The fact is that there has never been any single, solid, determined commitment on the part of the vast majority of white Americans to genuine equality for Negroes. There has always been ambivalence.”

Fifty-five years later, that ambivalence persists. We can easily find it in the way we talk about people of color.

At the National Conflict Resolution Center, we understand why this matters. But we don’t always get it right. Let me explain. NCRC has been working in the field of juvenile justice for nearly a decade. Our programs are changing systems that punish youth — disproportionately, youth of color — when they cause harm. Instead, we use a restorative approach that holds youth accountable while keeping them connected to community.

When we talk about these programs, we use words like “atrisk” or “disadvantaged” to describe the participants and the communities in which they live. Those terms — while convenient and familiar — conjure up images that stigmatize and also create fear.

A very thoughtful member of the NCRC board of directors once wrote to me following a discussion about the juvenile justice initiative. It made her feel uncomfortable. She wrote, “Looking at the racial or ethnic profiles of those served may lead to unwarranted conclusions, since kids of color are far more likely to have their behavior labeled as ‘bad’ — and even criminalized — from a very young age.” White, affluent families have more resources to support kids in trouble — as well as influence, to keep their records clean.

Having raised three teenagers, I know she’s right. Behaviors attributed to kids who look like mine are often considered mistakes or youthful indiscretions. They are overlooked, because no harm was intended. Youth of color, who reside in the “wrong” ZIP codes, are perceived as potential criminals who need to be fixed or punished.

That narrative can shortchange a kid’s future. Even if the facts tell a different (and less dire) story.

Trabian Shorters is founder and CEO of BME Community, an organization that provides equity training that reframes the way we talk about people and communities of color. Shorters speaks of the trillions of dollars that have been spent since King’s time, fighting racism and poverty.

Yet progress has been slow, hindered by something as basic as the words we choose.

Shorters believes that our persistent use of a fear-based narrative has led to an “inculcated practice of denigration and division.”

The way we react to fear is by trying to avoid, control or eliminate it. It’s human nature. (Think of finding a spider in your house.)

Instead, we should center on a person’s assets and aspirations. BME calls the approach “assetframing”: replacing fear-based language with words that engender understanding and confidence by focusing on a person’s worth. Asset-framing creates a fuller set of information and associations to draw upon when making decisions, inspiring more equitable action.

Asset-framing works. Last week, a member of our restorative team told me about his work with two high school students who had been fighting.

Tensions only mounted when school administrators tried to intervene. But instead of inquiring about what happened and why (deficit-framing), he asked the boys what they like to do in their free time (asset-framing). As it turned out, both like to cook and help their single moms in busy households.

The exchange turned into bonding over cooking and ended with mutual apologies.

Polarization and incivility in our society are rampant in large part due to misguided assumptions we make about people of color and the words we choose when talking to or about them. Perceptions can change dramatically as we open our minds to finding the worth in others, instead of their challenges or shortcomings, and when we stop resorting to stereotypes. It’s not easy to do, but at NCRC, we’re working on it, every day.

There could be no better way to honor the memory of Dr. King.

Dinkin is president of the National Conflict Resolution Center, a San Diego-based group working to create solutions to challenging issues, including intolerance and incivility. To learn about NCRC’S programming, visit ncrconline.com.