Burrow does what Palmer, Dalton could not do 31

Sez Me …

The ultra-reliable firm of Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu has secured the single Sezzie Awards ballot, counted it, and has delivered it to me by drone.

In case you are unaware — and I believe most of you are — The Sezzies annually go to NFL players, coaches and administrators chosen by me, and now are universally accepted as the platinum standard among all trophies, even though they’re made out of fusilli pasta. But unlike others, they can be boiled.

So without further ado, and taking into account these only involve the regular season, I present the winners:

Most Valuable Player: Aaron Rodgers, QB, Green Bay

I understand Bruce Arians said Tom Brady not being MVP is the biggest joke since: “Grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender says, ‘Hey, we have a drink named after you.’ Grasshopper says, ‘You have a drink named Steve?’ ”

Tom always seems deserving, but not this time. Despite his foibles — and missing a game after lying about being vaccinated — Rodgers, who has revealed the Woody Woodpecker instigator side of himself, had the best year on the best team.

Nothing left to say about Aaron. He doesn’t throw picks (37 TDS, 4 INTS, astonishing at any level). He’s the most precise thrower I’ve seen and will be MVP in the AP balloting, which ranks No. 2 to the Sezzies. Arians doesn’t have a vote.

Coach of the Year: Mike Vrabel, Tennessee

The thinking was the Titans would collapse like a toddler’s souffle when The League’s greatest load, tailback Derrick Henry, went down with a bad foot after gaining 937 yards and 10 scores in eight games. But

San Diegans know that a local team’s recurring futility can feel endless.

But even the football-loving oldsters among us may be unable to appreciate the playoff victory drought the Cincinnati Bengals ended Saturday by defeating the Las Vegas Raiders, 26-19, in the Super Bowl tournament’s first game.

Cincinnati went 31 years — until Saturday, the longest active playoff drought in the country’s four major sports leagues — between the wildcard-round victories directed by quarterbacks Boomer Esiason and Joe Burrow in January 1991 and

Saturday, respectively.

For all of their parched stretches, the San Diego Chargers and their fans were never comparably thirsty in the franchise’s 56 seasons. Their driest spell between playoff successes was “merely” the 16 years after the 1963 team won the American Football League title. And the Bolts’ longest stretch wholly in the Super Bowl era was the 12 years after the 1994 squad played in the franchise’s only Super Bowl.

So when Bengals linebacker Germaine Pratt intercepted Derek Carr’s 9-yard pass in front of the goal line with 12 seconds left and Burrow took a knee before flipping the ball to an official, obituary writers tapped capital letters.

Years since Cincinnati’s last playoff victory, a win over the Houston Oilers in January, 1991

Bengals, Bills advance, three games on tap today.