San Diego Union-Tribune (Sunday)
Chargers’ top pick not exciting, but smart
Sez Me (Draft Edition) …
The NFL lottery can be without a cannonball splash and high entertainment value — for the fortunate.
If your team is good, and improving, the draft can be about as sexy as being locked in a closet with a surfeit of flatulent skunks.
(I’d say locked in a phone booth, but few people know what that is anymore.)
However, the best general managers, the football people, know where to put their butter. On the big loaves of bread.
If you’re no good up front, if your O-line can’t protect the quarterback in a League in which 65 percent of offense is passing, if the big guys can’t block for the run when necessary, you’re not beating cake batter.
It’s all about the quarterback, getting to the quarterback, protecting the quarterback.
The NFL Team That Used To Be Here — you know, the Judases/l.a. Lodgers — didn’t go Hollywood in the first round. More like San Pedro, with a working man, a stevedore — Boston College guard Zion Johnson.
There is no everydown position in football less seductive, less provocative, than offensive guard. They play incognito, without recognition. Grunts.
According to football guru and historian Goose Gosselin, guards and tight ends must hike the most difficult trail to reach the Hall of Fame.
Goose acknowledges that Ed White and Walt Sweeney, who played superbly in San Diego when there was some here here, no doubt belong in Canton. But they were guards. Breaking but no entering.
Maybe there’s some hope for them with the Hall expanding its seniors category, but Gosselin, who is on the Hall’s Seniors Committee, says, in the Judases’ 52-year history, they haven’t had a senior inducted.
Of course, it’s the draft, so we have no clue. Johnson looks like an immediate fit. Looks. He has to play first.
But the J’s have one of the more talented rosters. So given what I see as smart offseason moves to improve their defense, they wisely drafted O-line and for depth and help for their dreadful special teams.
But it didn’t bring much thrill to the Entertainment Capital of the World — or, this case, the Entertainment Capital of Nevada. …
Why the defrocking of the Punt God. Bills get Matt Araiza in sixth round. Third punter? Steal. Game changer. …
I watch RBS on Saturdays. Don’t be surprised if Texas A&M’S Isaiah Spiller, the Judases’ fourth-round pick, isn’t the best back in the draft. Different. …
Did the J’s get their right tackle in round 6? Possible. A guard, at least. Projected thirdrounder, Jamaree Salyer, Georgia, if nothing else, can pass block. …
No. 1 reason for dumping the filibuster: Ed Marinaro .…
Ravens draft like NASCAR drivers. …
Stink O’ The Week Sezment: The incessant playing of “Stink” Caroline.” Bad song, man. …
The League even makes dough off its televised schedule release. Next, the reality series “Law & Order: NFL Players in Trouble.” Never run out of subjects. …
I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks. The televised draft was better with Chris
Berman .…
Sean Mcvay, with nothing to do Thursday night, had a classic reaction to the Patriots drafting Chattanooga guard Cole Strange: “How about that? And we wasted our time thinking he’d be at 104.” …
Drafting The Delusional:
Travon Walker says last year’s Georgia defense would win seven Super Bowls if they got to play together in the NFL. The same one that gave up 41 to Alabama on Dec. 4? …
Mark Davis: Raiders would welcome Colin Kaepernick “with open arms.” Sure. Venus de Milo arms. …
Great work by Jon Gruden. The Raiders will not pick up the fifth-year options on their three 2019 first-rounders — Josh Jacobs, Cle Ferrell and Jonathan Abrams .…
If Jalen Hurts has a list of excuses, he has nothing to add. …
Tom Brady says he wishes he could be a great dad, like his father, but he spent too much time pushing himself to be the best. Here’s an idea, Tom. You and wife Gisele are worth untold millions. You’re about to turn 45. What a load of crap. Retire already and hug your kids if you’re that remorseful. …
I heard the reason the Padres were smothered by the Dodgers in Game 3 was the clubhouse beer pong celebration of a rare win the night before. Usually players go to malt shops, church and play miniature golf after games. …
Trevor Bauer should wish he pitched in the NFL. He’d be playing by June. …
And here I thought there was no chance umps could get worse at balls and strikes. Baseball on TV has become stupidly frustrating. …
New baseballs. Not bueno. Baseball has to get out of the baseball business. …
Ben Simmons is unreliable. I’ve known unreliable people. I stopped relying on them. …
Old Unreliable: Kyrie Ir ving is the greatest talent who rarely plays. An Aston Martin DBS on blocks in the garage. …
Mark Emmert is stepping down. The NCAA will try hard not to do it, but his replacement can’t help but be a step up. …
Phil has signed up for the remainder of golf ’s majors. He hasn’t committed, but here’s hoping he plays. The game’s Great Entertainer. …
How long will it be before horse racing gendarmes comb through Bob Baffert’s alfalfa for marijuana? …
Elon Musk simply took Newman’s advice: “When you control the mail, you control information.” …
Musk tweet, March 6, 2020: “The coronavirus panic is dumb.” The new boss. …
Concerned there will be more idiots on Twitter? Seems impossible, but that’s what “block” is for. …
Tommy Pham’s boxing promoters are looking into Mike Tyson’s next flight itinerary. …
RIP, Daryle Lamonica. The Mad(dest) Bomber in bombardier-loaded AFL. He averaged 14.9 yards per completion. …
Boris Becker goes for the Grand Slammer. …
Dodgers co-owner Todd Boehly has purchased Chelsea FC for $4.4 billion. Which means he will acquire Messi, Ronaldo and Robert Lewandowski and not win a full-season title. …
The Ham & Eggers’ deforestation of Ocean Beach is stupid, even for them, and failure to inform residents was/is inexcusable. The palm trees were planted before Lindbergh flew his Spirit out of here. If they’re affecting aviation, we’re being attacked. …
But, bravo. Trees have been planted on Market in East Village. They’re thin, so hoards of bicyclists won’t run into them. …
Have you ever been in line for a prescription at a pharmacy when the person up front hasn’t had a problem? …
Did you catch the backup of electric cars at the Madonna Inn’s multi-port charging station in SLO? If you ain’t seen nothing yet, you will. …
I never prayed in school. Except before, during and after tests — oh, and enduring the excruciating process of securing a prom date.
sezme.godfather@gmail.com Twitter: @sdutcanepa