LET US RESOLVE TO BE MORE SELFLESS IN 2023

The turn of the year provides a unique opportunity for reflection before the chaos of our daily lives takes over. Service providers seem to know we are drawn to this sort of year-end accounting and are obliging us with all kinds of usage data.

Digital subscribers to the Union-tribune, for instance, received a year-end report showing how many articles they read in 2022, with a comparison to other readers. Grubhub has gotten into the act too, with its list of the 10 most delivered foods, topped by burritos.

Last week, I took time to review my 2022 columns. More than a year of conflict (of which there was plenty), it was a year of contrasts — especially in personalities. Two types stood out: the selfish and the selfless.

Among the selfish, I wrote about tennis star Novak Djokovic, who was comfortable putting others at risk when he insisted on playing in the Australian Open — but wouldn’t abide by the country’s COVID policy, requiring vaccination.

Media personality Alex Jones tortured the families of children murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., saying for 10 years it was a government-staged hoax to curtail gun rights — just to sell merchandise to his devoted audience of conspiracy theorists.

Robert Sarver, owner of the Phoenix Suns and Phoenix Mercury, created a toxic work culture for his personal pleasure. Sarver screamed and cursed at his subordinates, joked about sex acts, and used racially insensitive language.

Their selfishness was without real consequence. Jones’ salary was reduced by two-thirds, to $20,000 every two weeks. Djokovic has continued playing and winning tournaments; he tops the ATP career prize money list and ranked No. 2 in 2022. And Sarver will collect his own prize this year, with the Suns and Mercury expected to sell for a record $4 billion.

Throughout the year, we saw parents of school-aged children taking their turn at selfishness — lashing out at school board meetings, orchestrating book bans, and advocating restrictions that would hurt transgender youth. Their stated motivation — to raise their children as they see fit — rang a little hollow.

As someone who always looks for lessons, I learned more writing about the selfless. Among them: Sister Norma Pimentel, executive director of Catholic Charities of the Rio Grande Valley, an organization that’s helped more than 150,000 migrant children and families at the border. Pimentel isn’t critical of immigration policy; instead, she talks about the need to change our thinking about and treatment of people who risk it all to come to our country.

After all, Pimentel says, we are part of the same human family — words to keep in mind as we read stories of migrants being “dumped” at San Diegoarea bus stations by federal officials, as reported in last Sunday’s Union-tribune.

In May, the U.S. Soccer Federation announced a landmark collective bargaining agreement that equalized pay for the women’s and men’s national soccer teams. It righted a disparity that saw the women’s team earning nearly $2 million in bonuses for their 2015 World Cup victory, while the men’s team — which was eliminated — earned more than $5 million.

It was the men who paved the way for a deal, agreeing to pool their World Cup prize money with the women’s and to share it equally. They schooled us all on the importance of fairness, especially when it comes to pay. Following the recent tournament in Qatar, where the men’s team reached the round of 16, female players each earned more than $250,000.

My look back reminded me that there is no shortage of selfless San Diegans. Last January, I wrote about Malin Burnham, our city’s unofficial collaborator-inchief. Burnham’s mantra — community before self — was informed by his years as a competitive sailor, when he learned that teamwork wins races. Burnham

reminds us that building connection is the best way to counter polarization.

And in April, I wrote about Mary and Rolf Benirschke, who were honored for their philanthropy at the National Conflict Resolution Center’s Peacemaker Awards. The couple has raised and personally donated millions of dollars to local and national causes. But more than writing checks, the Benirschkes have given their time — Rolf, to patients battling Crohn’s disease; Mary, to people experiencing homelessness.

And so, if I can offer a resolution for all of America, it’s to practice a little more selflessness this year. Balance your own needs with the needs of others. And show more compassion. Our society will be stronger for it.

Dinkin is president of the National Conflict Resolution Center, a San Diego-based group working to create solutions to challenging issues, including intolerance and incivility. To learn about NCRC’S programming, visit ncrconline.com