HIGHER THAN EXPECTED CALL VOLUME? GIVE US A BREAK

Groundhog Day is just around the corner, and if you’ve seen the movie by the same name, you likely remember the plot: A TV weatherman goes on location to report whether or not Punxsutawney Phil, the “official” groundhog, saw his shadow. The weatherman finds himself living the same day over and over again.

Recently, I had a “groundhog moment.” It happened when I went to get blood work done as part of my annual physical. When I entered the facility, a man was yelling at the receptionist. He was unhappy because his doctor’s order (approving the blood work) wasn’t in the system. The receptionist was apologetic — but it seemed there was nothing she could do.

My blood drawn, I headed back to the lobby, where the frustrated man was still berating the receptionist. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t say anything (out loud, that is).

You’ve probably witnessed similar groundhog moments in your daily life, playing out repeatedly. Maybe you’ve been more than an observer, becoming angry with someone who really can’t help you. Or maybe you’ve been on the receiving end.

For passengers traveling on Southwest Airlines during the holidays (or trying to), it was lived reality. Some took to social media to air their grievances — and there were many, including unraveled holiday plans due to canceled flights, lost bags, and excessive wait times or busy signals when calling customer service. One passenger told CNN her family was on the phone with the airline for 10 hours.

I’d be angry, too.

But more than once during those torturous days, passengers crossed the line — attacking whichever poor soul happened to be nearby. At the Austin, Texas, airport, video captured a woman screaming uncontrollably at two Southwest agents, wanting her “stuff.” Apparently, she missed her connecting flight and was attempting to reclaim her checked luggage.

The agents were calmly trying to defuse the situation, which seemed to anger the woman even more. She jumped up and down in frustration.

I can only imagine the tenor of the phone conversations between passengers and customer service representatives, once they were reached.

Our behavior has only gotten worse. In a January 2022 column, New York Times reporter Sarah Lyall pointed to the growing disconnect between expectations and reality. Lyall shared this observation from a business leader: “Before the pandemic, consumers had been seduced into the idea of the ‘frictionless economy’ — the notion that you could get whatever you wanted, the moment you wanted it.” Those days are over.

The massive movement toward e-commerce hasn’t helped matters. As Lyall wrote, many consumers are “rightly aggrieved” at the poor service they’re getting from companies doing business online, which seem “gleefully interested in preventing customers from talking to actual people.”

Yet that’s precisely what we want: human interaction. Amy Balliett, a contributor to Inc., wrote in an article last year that “sacrificing humanity for the sake of efficiency” isn’t a way to keep customers. In fact, 76 percent of us would prefer to connect with a customer service professional via a phone call, rather than online chat — and 66 percent of us expect our issues to be resolved in 10 minutes or less.

Seems aspirational, doesn’t it? Staffing shortages and problematic technology regularly cause disappointment and frustration. Hearing a recorded apology for higher than expected call volume leaves us wanting to — well, jump up and down.

Companies know they have to do better. On Monday, Southwest President and CEO Bob Jordan sent a letter to the airline’s loyalty program members, outlining steps that have been taken to stabilize operations and take care of inconvenienced customers.

Jordan also pointed to immediate and longer-term actions that Southwest will be taking to reduce the risk of future operational disruptions. While many of them are systems-focused, there’s bound to be a refresher course or two for employees on conflict resolution.

As for the angry masses, it’s time to be less mean. There’s a big difference between saying to someone, “I’m frustrated — this really inconvenienced me,” and attacking them as incompetent or uncaring, or both. At the National Conflict Resolution Center, we teach the importance of using “I” statements, rather than “you” statements in difficult conversations, saying how a problem is affecting us (rather than blaming or shaming).

It’s a simple switch that makes it more likely your message will be heard. And it’s a skill worth practicing, because the gap between expectations and reality won’t be shrinking any time soon.

Dinkin is president of the National Conflict Resolution Center, a San Diego-based group working to create solutions to challenging issues, including intolerance and incivility. To learn about NCRC’S programming, visit ncrconline.com