Helene Maria Gray

September 1, 1934 - March 29, 2023

NORTHRIDGE — Helene Maria Gray was a petite dynamo of a woman. Soft spoken but an extrovert, she captivated all those lucky enough to be in her presence with her irresistible storytelling, beautiful singing voice (Helene’s dream was to become an opera singer), quick wit, boundless energy and strength of character.

Born in Heidelberg, Germany on September 1, 1934, much of her childhood was governed by the cruelty and violence of World War

II, which forced her to mature beyond her years. Growing up in a small village on the outskirts of an industrial city that was frequently bombed, she was often responsible for the safety of her two younger sisters, rushing them to shelters when the air raid sirens sounded. During a period of the war, the girls were also separated from their parents and sent by government decree to live and work long hours with little sustenance on separate farms in the Black Forest.

After the war at the age of 17, Helene married and had her first son at 18 while still living in Germany. Turns out her biological clock was stronger than most forms of birth control and by age 19, she was pregnant with her first daughter as she sailed to America. Within two years of moving to the states, she had her second daughter, having three children, ages, 1, 2 and 3, by the time she was just 21.

In the mid 1950s, she took her three children, then 2, 3 and 4 years old, out of an undesirable situation and moved them to Southern California, where she worked hard to provide for her family. It was at that job that she met the love of her life, Theodore (Ted) Gray. Legend has it that he fell backwards over his chair the first time he saw her and he was hooked for life on the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Their first date was at Knott’s Berry Farm with all three of her young children. They

married six months after meeting and true to form, Helene had her second son within a year of being married. She took a break from childbearing for a few years while Ted went back to school to get his degree. Another daughter and son followed after Ted finished school and became a high school German teacher.

In 1967, the family of eight moved to the countryside in Valley Center, CA, where Helene put down deep roots and gave her all to the family farm. She planted a quarter-acre vegetable garden, tended animals, chopped the family’s firewood, climbed on the roof to fix any leaks, sewed dresses for her daughters, and baked the best lemon squares on the face of the earth. There was no task she couldn’t accomplish with both her strength and softness.

Simultaneously, she devoted every waking hour to care for her youngest child who was born with Cystic Fibrosis, and her family and doctors believe she extended his life by many years. When he passed away at age 24, it was her deep faith as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and her love of her family that got her through her profound grief and helped her maintain her love of life and laughter.

That love of life included a passion for music, a voracious reading habit and a lifelong desire to learn and grow. There was always a new book, healing herb, or delicious recipe to learn about when visiting Helene’s home. Our indomitable, charming, bright and brilliant mother, grandmother and great grandmother passed away on March 29, 2023 at the age of 88 after a long battle with dementia. She was preceded in death by her husband Ted, her youngest son, Teddy and her oldest son, Harry. She is survived and will be missed more than words can say by her four other children, Dorothy, Carol, Justin and Maria, as well as her nine grandchildren and six great grandchildren.

A ceremony honoring Helene’s life will be held June 17, 2023 at 5pm at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses at 2080 Encino Dr, Escondido CA 92025-6744. In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Alzheimer’s Association in Helene’s name.

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