Fan tracks pitchers’ poor starts, a stinker at a time
In 1985, John Lowe, a 26-year-old sportswriter for the Philadelphia Inquirer, invented a statistic meant to measure a starting pitcher’s efficacy. The starter would be awarded a quality start if he lasted at least six innings and allowed three or fewer earned runs. The stat was more meaningful than a pitcher’s win-loss record or earned run average, Lowe reasoned, because it wasn’t subject to his run support or skewed by one particularly bad outing, writes Scott Allen of The Washington Post.
Twenty-seven years later, two Nationals fans invented their own stat — albeit a much lesser-known one — to measure lesser pitching performances. A quantity shart — a slangy portmanteau combining vulgar terms for poop and flatulence — is awarded to a starting pitcher who allows six or more earned runs in six or fewer innings. Think of it as the opposite of a quality start, with a sophomoric twist.
Jeff Kabacinski, a 51-year-old paralegal and law school student, credits fellow Nationals fan Jerry Sparks for helping to come up with the name for the other QS after then-Washington pitcher Jordan Zimmermann (pictured) allowed seven earned runs in two innings against the Los Angeles Dodgers on July 21, 2013. Kabacinski created the @MLBWhoSharted Twitter account soon after and, for the past nine years, has dutifully tracked and shared their little joke with the world.
“I’m just a guy with a Stathead subscription and a free Twitter account,” Kabacinski said, referencing the Baseball Reference research tool he uses for his one-man operation. “It’s a little distraction from whatever I’m doing. I run these numbers, put them up on Twitter and people laugh.”
Naturally, the account’s avatar is Bill Schardt, who started 22 games for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1911. The right-hander was roughed up on occasion but by definition never recorded a quantity shart because the earned run didn’t become an official statistic until 1913.
Over the years, based on suggestions from his followers, he has added additional categories for even worse outings, including the Shartnado (nine or more earned runs in three or fewer innings) and the Supersonic Sewer Sauce (nine or more earned runs in six or fewer innings).
Kabacinski typically tags the pitchers and their teams in his tweets. Most pitchers don’t acknowledge him, some block him, and only a few have otherwise interacted with the account. In 2021, Derek “Dutch Oven” Holland, who has a great sense of humor and a nickname with a smelly connotation, replied that he appreciated the reminder about his poor outing.
Trivia question
How many “quantity sharts” do the Padres have this season?
He said it
From Cleveland Guardians General Manager Mike Chernoff, after Josh Naylor headbutted manager Terry Francona following Naylor’s walk-off home run Wednesday against Minnesota. “It was pretty funny. When Tito came in (Thursday), his glasses were all crooked. He had to go and get them taken in and fixed.”
Trivia answer
Five: MacKenzie Gore has two (both against Colorado), with one each for Yu Darvish, Sean Manaea and Joe Musgrove.