CELEBRATE THE MOTHERS AND FATHERS WHO DO SO MUCH
It took me until my 50th year to admit this openly — my father died of a drug overdose when I was 10. He was in his mid-30s, a successful pharmacist whose pharmacy was the main source of providing prescription drugs to a large hospital. Sadly, my father became addicted to Demerol, overdosed twice and died the second time. He left a wife, my mother, as well as two children, my older sister and me. My mother was on her own, left to hold together a family and raise her two kids.
So what did she do? She went to work. She was a registered nurse by training and was able to find work fairly quickly. She pursued and earned a master’s degree. She sent my sister and me to a private school during our high school years. She retired at age 65 and sadly witnessed the death of my sister, but accumulated enough wealth to sustain herself and leave a substantial inheritance to her only surviving child.
All this is to say that I have the ultimate love, respect and regard for Betty Sue Harlan and all the mothers who do it alone. They are heroes to me, bravely taking on challenges that are hard enough with two parents. I lost my father to a drug, but think about all the fathers who simply walk away from their families. It’s one thing to lose a father to drugs or violence or even a tragic accident, but I believe it’s absolutely deplorable and the height of selfishness to forsake the responsibilities that come with the role of father.
It was left to me to learn what it means to be a man and to cobble together the notion of manhood, but I was able to do it and make my way to fatherhood. My wife Judi and I have a son named August, a beautiful boy for whom I would sacrifice my life.
My beloved mother bought me a book a few months before he was born to help me give him guidance. It’s called “Father to Son, Life Lessons on Raising a Boy.” I’ve been reading it lately with him and lesson No. 1 is this: Be around. That’s all it says. A father’s mere presence is enough to lift a child’s spirit.
Men, be there for your sons and daughters. It makes a huge difference for them.
My mother was hardly there for my athletic endeavors. I don’t blame her because she had so many other things to handle, but I do regret that I had no parents in the stands to cheer for me when I competed. You better believe that whenever August has an event, his mother and father are present, yelling joyfully when he’s out there, going for it.
Please allow me to conclude with one other note from the book I mentioned earlier. One of the lessons says, “Be a good husband, show his mother respect at all times.” The ultimate respect may be to man up and not leave it to mothers to do all the parenting, so my Mother’s Day message is to fathers.
Stand tall, men, and do your job, be a father. It’s the greatest job on the planet.