About 840 million people worldwide have some form of hidden disability.
for British Airways to open check-in. But walking, spinning and riding the suitcase eventually lost her interest, so they felt they needed to get to the airport’s only soft-play area, which was through security.
While the girl waited with her father, Watkins approached the ticket counter, then stood off to the side because initiating conversation is difficult for them.
Despite wearing the lanyard, Watkins said they had a torturous wait to be acknowledged. Once they finally got an agent’s attention, Watkins explained they wanted to get through to the play area because their autistic daughter was struggling, but the agent further delayed check-in by asking where the girl was.
Moments after Watkins pointed out their daughter, the airport environment triggered an autistic meltdown in the girl, who screamed and bolted. When Watkins was able to collect their daughter, they ended up sitting on the floor and holding the girl as she spat in their face and repeatedly bit their arms. Watkins recalled worrying that others would judge or offer unsolicited advice.
“I felt like this was traumatizing for me, my child and everyone around us, having to witness this,” they said.
When two British Airways employees approached to help, one crouched down and told the child, “Stop making mommy cry.” Then he addressed Watkins, who is nonbinary, and said, “Stop crying. You can be a big girl.”
Watkins found the remark inappropriate, saying they remembered thinking that “I’m not a little girl, and I’m allowed to f---ing cry because I’m in pain.” But they said nothing because they were shutting down from their own distress.
The girl’s outburst finally ended when the agent offered chocolate. Watkins remained emotionally dysregulated, even after a female employee offered a hug, they said. The act of deep pressure can help calm the nervous system of some with autism, though Watkins didn’t know if the woman was trained or just kind.
With Watkins still crying and unable to process complex sentences, the family was escorted to security and screened quickly.
Fortunately, at the gate, an agent made eye contact with Watkins, “There was this nod and she started walking towards me, which meant like yes, come to me,” Watkins recalled.
Whether the woman saw the lanyard or the girl, the message Watkins received was clear: “I felt like I was safe” and the agents were “taking care of me.” The flight was without incident.
Watkins was grateful for the staff that offered support but feels the ordeal didn’t have to happen. “It was preventable because John and I could see the signs,” Watkins said.
Feedback and advice from lanyard users is welcome, a British Airways spokeswoman said, noting that they “recognize that more can always be done.”
A December visit to Denver International Airport illustrated how much the sunflower program is dependent on training, which was voluntary. The airport spent about $4,000 to launch the program last May, emailing the training video to staff who had contact with the public and to TSA agents, but not tracking how many actually watched it.
Conversations with about two dozen TSA agents, civilian employees and a volunteer — as well as with gate agents and flight crew for United Airlines, which hasn’t adopted the program as a company — found only a handful of airport personnel were familiar with it.
In one instance, a box of sunflower lanyards was behind the counter at a ground transportation desk, but only one of two employees there was familiar with the program.
“With over 30,000 employees at DEN including airline staff, wheelchair personal and retail and dining staff, widespread education can be difficult, especially with high turnover in many of these areas,” said airport spokeswoman Stephanie Figueroa.
“DEN is working on expanding the training and we will continue to work on how we can get more information to our airline partners.”
Having experienced the inconsistency, Watkins believes it is the greatest weakness of the program. But, they still said the lanyard program is a win.
“Once you know that someone has an invisible disability ... you can start having those conversations and learning how to best assist that individual,” they said.