San Francisco Chronicle - (Sunday)

Deja vu all over again for Giants mogul

- Scott Ostler is a San Francisco Chronicle columnist. Email: sostler@sfchronicl­e.com

Here are some shout-outs I’ve been meaning to shout out, but you know how you get busy this time of year with holiday plans and sleigh rides and baking pumpkin pies for orphans, but doggone it, as the man once said, “The time to hesitate is through, no time to wallow in the mire”!

Hey, Charlie Johnson!

Thanks for coming out of your mogul cave long enough to explain why you, principal owner of the Giants, donated money to the Senate campaign of a candidate who sees public hangings as festive events.

You simply didn’t realize where your money was going. Just like the previous time. Deja vu can be a b-word! We’ll keep your explanatio­n around for next time.

Because you seem so charming and harmless in your interviews, it’s probably smallminde­d to wonder if you did ’em just to head off a boycott of your Giants and protect your financial posterior.

Hey, you artists who painted the lovely paintings of the A’s future ballpark at Howard Terminal! I love how you took care of one potentiall­y colossal problem. Way behind the ballpark in one painting is a faintly visible structure. A camping lodge, maybe? A gluten-free bakery?

No! On closer inspection, it’s Schnitzer Steel, in real life a massive and ugly metal-pulverizin­g operation. Whatever steel-pulverizin­g byproducts Schnitzer spews into the air are wafted directly over Howard Terminal by the prevailing bay breezes.

It will be very, very difficult for the A’s to live next door to Schnitzer, and very, very hard to move Schnitzer. Maybe you artists can simply paint them out completely. A stroke of genius. You’re welcome. Hey, readers who take me to task for being too cynical about the A’s ballpark plans! Thank you.

Here’s a scrap from my notes from Monday’s news conference where A’s and Oakland officials announced that the team hopes to build a ballpark at Howard Terminal: A’s President Dave Kaval said the Howard Terminal plan has produced “positive ripple effects, as opposed to negative ripple effects.” Hmm. When the A’s announceme­nt of plans to build their ballpark at Laney College caused major negative ripple effects, they forged ahead anyway, until that door was slammed in their face. Cynicism can be fun. When the ballpark opens in 2023, the first giveaway will be a bobblehead of me eating crow. Hey, Dave Kaval! Hope you take the suggestion I gave you for the new A’s ballpark. Even though the grandstand­s will be super-close to the field, make foul territory outside third base extra big, like at the Coliseum, where that obstacle-strewn acreage has become Matt

Chapman’s Gold Glove playground. Hey, NFL! Last February?

That’s when the Kareem Hunt incident took place? Seriously? I’ve seen replay evaluation­s that took a long time, but nine months? Will Roger Goodell and everyone under him please resign?

Hey, Colin Kaepernick.

Great job doing some heavy lifting for recently elected Mississipp­i Sen. Cindy HydeSmith. She believes in actively suppressin­g the vote of minorities and young voters, who tend to vote leftish. You also support suppressio­n of those voter groups by your antivoting stance. Hyde-Smith will help shape American policy and law for at least the next two years because she got a lot of — what do you call ’em? — votes. Hey, Under Armour! You should hire that 9-year-old girl whose letter to Stephen Curry got the ball rolling on a line of UA Curry sneakers for girls and women. Who knew chicks play basketball, too!

Hey, Mavericks! Thanks for being the embodiment of one of the coolest words in the Dictionary of Sport: wipeout.  Hey, you ghost-deniers! After reading “The Incredible Slip

Madigan, The Flamboyant Coach Who Modernized Football,” by the incredible Dave

Newhouse, I am convinced that the ghost of the old St. Mary’s coach haunts the Moraga campus to this day, for real. Once again, Newhouse breathes new life into forgotten Bay Area sports history. Available on Amazon or from Saint Johann Press.

Hey, 49ers! You should get to know the police department (Santa Clara) that polices your stadium and your team. You might have been alerted about that police-reported October tiff between Reuben Foster and his girlfriend, and maybe you could have helped those two head off more serious problems down the road. And I still wonder why John Lynch and

Kyle Shanahan, when asked last Sunday whether they were aware of that incident and report, didn’t answer that day with some form of either “yes” or “no.”

Hey, Jim Morrison of The Doors. What’s a “mire”? If there’s no time to wallow in the mire, can we just wade in it?

 ?? Franklin Templeton Investment­s ?? Giants principal owner Charles Johnson caught heat for a political contributi­on.
Franklin Templeton Investment­s Giants principal owner Charles Johnson caught heat for a political contributi­on.

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