San Francisco Chronicle - (Sunday)
WHEN MATHILDE MET MOURAD
The S.F. ballerina and celebrated chef share a real-life pas de deux.
It’s hard to imagine a more dynamic Bay Area couple than Mourad Lahlou and Mathilde Froustey.
A Michelin-starred chef with arms sheathed in tattoos, Lahlou is credited with bringing a new lens to traditional Moroccan cuisine. He is the culinary force behind San Francisco’s eponymous Mourad restaurant and the upcoming Amara — a Moroccan Mexican restaurant that will inhabit the same Richmond District space as his acclaimed previous restaurant, Aziza.
Froustey, a Parisian expatriate, is a classically trained ballerina who came from France to join San Francisco Ballet as a principal dancer, receiving acclaim and awards for the title role in “Sleeping Beauty” and as Kitri in “Don Quixote.” When not on the stage or in the dance studio, she curates La Maison in Oakland, an interdisciplinary creative space for artists that she co-founded.
The two met last year through a mutual friend who brought Froustey to Lahlou’s restaurant with the intention of introducing them. Lahlou wasn’t there that night, so Froustey reached out via Instagram to thank him for the meal. At her invitation, Lahlou then made his first-ever visit to the Ballet to watch her dance in “Snowblind” (a role she reprised recently on Valentine’s Day) and took her to dinner at Petit Crenn. The pair enjoyed each other’s company so much that they lingered well past closing time. But Froustey left two days later to dance in Europe, and was gone for two months. An almost old-fashioned romance ensued, with endless texts between the two winging across oceans and time zones but nary a telephone conversation during the entire trip. The relationship continued to blossom upon Froustey’s return to the United States, leading to a marriage proposal over the holidays. They plan to wed in September.
On a busy Monday afternoon, the two spoke with The Chronicle about the backstage realities of their professions, sartorial inspirations, potential future projects and their real-life pas de deux.
Q: The dance and culinary worlds are both so intense and full of pressure. How do you support and influence each other professionally?
Mourad: I had never gone to the ballet before, but since we’ve been together, I’ve never missed a single one of her performances.
Mathilde: And he pushes me. This morning I was so tired and didn’t want to go to rehearsal. And he told me to get up, shower and go. Mourad: She pushes me, too. Empowering women is a strong theme for Mathilde — it’s really inspiring. We were recruiting for a sous chef and got over 80 resumes. We narrowed it down, and I told her about the final list — all men. She asked, “Do you have to fill it now? Why don’t you wait?” So I waited. And we ended up promoting a young woman from our kitchen. Mathilde: I can’t take credit, though — he was already thinking that way. I’ve been into many restaurant kitchens since we’ve been together, and his kitchen is one of the most feminine and diverse in San Francisco.
Q: When you first began dating, what surprised you most about the reality of being a dancer or a chef? Mourad: When you go to the ballet and you’re unaware of what’s going on, you see someone onstage doing technical things that the human body is not supposed to do, smiling and making it look so easy! But once we became emotionally attached, it was harder for me to watch her dance. I see her feet when she gets home from rehearsal, her pain when she wakes up in the morning. Most people don’t have any idea. Mathilde: At first I thought, “Oh, they don’t change the menu every day, it can’t be that hard.” No! He comes home at 1:30 a.m., sometimes even later. Then he wakes up early and goes back to work. Every day he’s one of the first ones in and last ones out. The discipline this guy has is insane. If it’s not perfect, it’s in the trash. He’s hard on people in his kitchen because he asks perfection. But somehow he pulls the best out of them, and that makes people love him. I’ve never seen somebody who was so hard on his people, yet they love him so much.
Q: So Mourad, you’re a perfectionist in the kitchen. Mathilde, do you cook? Mathilde: No. I’m good with my feet, but not with my hands. I’ll break everything. I’ll burn myself with the microwave!
Mourad: It’s true. The first time I cooked for her, she said, “I want to help you but I’m really clumsy. I’ll break something in two seconds.” I didn’t believe her and gave her something to do. Within two seconds I heard a crash. Q: How do you handle difficult moments between yourselves? Mathilde: I like to dance things out. If we’re having an argument or I’m having a stressful moment, I put music on and dance.
Mourad: The first time I saw her do it, we had just started dating. We’re having an argument about something and then she suddenly goes downstairs. Then I hear music. I hear her dance. And I’m sitting there thinking, “Is she kidding me right now?” And then she involves me in that process and says, “Come and
“What’s really beautiful is that she accepts the way I am. I wear baggy pants with holes, T-shirts, hoodies. I just want to be comfortable.”
Mourad Lahlou, restaurateur
dance with me!” I say, “No, I’m mad at you. I don’t want to dance with you.” She says, “You can still be mad at me, but just dance, just move!”
Mathilde: And then we laughed about it.
Q: How did you develop your sense of style?
Mathilde: I have an amazing mother who always told me I can wear a plastic bag and look good. I go from H&M to Givenchy to Chanel. I mix it up, but I tend to not spend money on clothes. I love going to a fancy event wearing an H&M dress and people asking me if it’s Chanel and being able to say, “No, it was $19.99.”
Mourad: And Mathilde is one of these people who will say it was $19.99.
Mathilde: If you move and express yourself with grace, you can wear anything and still be beautiful. I also believe in being nice. If you’re a nice person, you can wear whatever you want and be respected.
Mourad: She can pull off a T-shirt and jeans, or shove a fancy dress into her purse in the morning then pull it out to wear later and look amazing. That’s what happened today for the photo shoot.
Q: She literally pulled the dress she wore for the photos out of her purse? Mourad: Yes. It’s not like it had been dry-cleaned and was hanging. She’s not cautious about that stuff.
Q: And what about Mourad’s style?
Mathilde: Since he’s been going to the ballet, his car is literally a dressing room of suits because he goes in his apron from the kitchen to his car. He changes into a suit and comes to the ballet.
Mourad: I think what’s really beautiful is that she accepts the way I am. I wear baggy pants with holes, T-shirts, hoodies. I just want to be comfortable.
Q: Do the two of you envision any future artistic and culinary collaborations?
Mourad: We’ve been talking about this idea of doing a little restaurant together, like a lab, bringing in creative guest chefs and artists. It would be part of a hotel with maybe 10 rooms that looks like a Moroccan riad. And people could stay and be with these chefs and artists, learning.
Mathilde: An emulsification of our worlds, like we’re using a whisk to blend them.