World traveler, you missed the best

“Last week” the weather was beautiful, the fish were biting . ... But this week? The monsoon season arrived early, and the fish aren’t biting.

A couple we know who just returned from a first trip to Hawaii has been inconsolable ever since getting back. “We went to Kauai, Oahu and Maui and enjoyed ourselves on each island. However, we decided to skip going to the big island of Hawaii. Now everybody we talk to tells us we missed the best part of the trip.”

“I wouldn’t let it get me down,” I said. “You could visit 23 countries and 65 cities on an extensive trip to Europe, and someone would be sure to remark, ‘Don’t tell me you missed Latvia! Why, Riga was the highlight of our trip.’ ”

State that you went to Paris and enjoyed your stay on the Left Bank, and someone will undoubtedly reply, “The Right Bank is far superior.”

Nor do you ever travel at the right time weather-wise. I’m sure Admiral Byrd returned from the Antarctic and was advised, “But I understand the Arctic is more pleasant this time of year.”

I told my disconsolate friends that they had been indoctrinated into the “You Should Have Been Here Last Week Club.”

The club got its name from the first greeting a traveler received when he checked into a vacation spot for a two-week stay and was told Peet’s Coffee in the Castro. 8:45 a.m.-2 p.m. Sat., June 29. Free. 2257 Market St., S.F. dssf.org

Dyke March Celebrate community, diversity and free expression. March begins at 5 p.m. at Dolores Park; Rally programming begins at 11 a.m. Sat., June 29. Dolores Park, Dolores Street and 19th Street, S.F. www.thedykemarch.org

Gary Virginia & Donna Sachet’s Pride Brunch The grand marshals of the parade are honored at this event featuring music, hosted bars, raffle prizes, silent auction and brunch. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Sat., June 29. $125 and up. Westin St. Francis, 335 Powell St., S.F. www.sfpride.org/event/gary -virginia-donna-sachets -pride-brunch

Good Vibes Pink Pleasure Party DJ dancing, dancers from Red Hot Burlesque, bites and drinks, shopping discounts and more. 5-7 p.m. Sat., June 29. Free. Good Vibrations, 603 Valencia St., S.F. http://www.sfpride.org/ event/good-vibrations-annu al-pink-pleasure-party-at -valencia-good-vibrations

Parivar Queer South Asian and Beyond A social to celebrate queer and trans people of color with panel discussion, love performances by South Asian queer artists, dancing, “you should have been here last week.”

“Last week” the weather was beautiful, the fish were biting, the waters were warm, and the place was jumping. (Or it was nice and quiet, depending on one’s age and social inclination.)

But this week? The monsoon season arrived early, and the fish aren’t biting. Moreover, if you’re wondering who all of the men are with riveted black-leather jackets around the pool, The visual displays and more. 5-9 p.m. Sat., June 29. Free. Parivar, 1453 Mission St., S.F. www.sfpride.org/event/pyaar -pride-and-parivar

Pink Block A daytime Pride Block Party with DJ dancing, drag shows, art installations, food trucks, and more. Noon-9 p.m. Sat., June 29. $20-$50. Great Northern, 119 Utah St., S.F. pinkblock.eventbrite.com

Pink Triangle: Installation & Commemoration Ceremony To volunteer, call or email Patrick Carney: 415-726-4914 or pat724car@gmail.com. 7-9 a.m. installation; 10:15 a.m. ceremony. Sat., June 29; de-installation 4:30-8 p.m. Sun., June 30. Twin Peaks, S.F. www.thepinktriangle.com

Pride Bird Walk The Feminist Bird Club presents a nature break for members of the LGBTQIA+ community, their families, and allies. All ages and abilities welcome. 9-11 a.m. Sat., June 29. Free. Corona Heights Park, 199 Museum Way, S.F. www.sfpride.org/ event/pride-bird-walk

Pride Comedy Night Kung Pao Kosher Comedy presents Marga Gomez, Sampson McCormick, Irene Tu, and Lisa Geduldig. 7 p.m. Sun., June 23. $25. Freight & Salvage, 2020 Addison St., Berkeley. www.koshercomedy.com/ pride-comedy-night Hell’s Angels are meeting here this week, too.

Once people began to travel more extensively — Europe, Hawaii, Mexico — the club expanded its activities in order to spoil vacations on an international scale.

Paris can be great when it sizzles. Paris can be great when it drizzles, depending on when you were not there.

The club doesn’t limit itself to one-upmanship on vacations, however.

Mention that you went to a Pride Nightlife The Academy of Sciences celebrates Pride with a drag show featuring Heklina, Hella Gay Dance Party, a talk about disco icon Sylvester with biographer Joshua P. Gamson and Marvin K. White, 500 Queer Scientists anniversary celebration, and more. 6-10 p.m. Thurs., June 27. $12-$20. California Academy of Sciences, 55 Music Concourse Dr., S.F. www.cal academy.org/nightlife/pride -nightlife

Pride Shabbat A cocktail/ martini hour followed by a joyous service with Rabbi Mychal Copland and Cantor Sharon Bernstein. 6 p.m. Fri., June 28. Free. Sha’ar Zahav, 290 Dolores St., S.F. shaar zahav.org/pride2019

Queer Lit Dr. Carol Queen celebrates the literary contributions of queer voices from non-fiction to erotica. 7-8 p.m. Thurs., June 27. Free. Good Vibrations, 603 Valencia St., S.F. https://tinyurl.com/ y2csttra

S.F. Pride A celebration of the LGBT community as well as of freedom and personal expression with live performances on multiple stages, dancing, food and drink, community and public service exhibits and informational installations and more. Parade down Market St. from Embarcadero to Civic Center, 10:30 a.m. Sat., June 30; celebration in Civic Center plaza runs Noon-6 p.m. Sat., June 29; 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Sun., June 30. See website for full Schedule. Civic Center Plaza, S.F. www.sfpride.org

S.F. Pride Golf Tournament A community fundraiser golf tournament benefiting First Tee of San Francisco in which participating groups of golfers are paired up with local professionals. 1 p.m. Wed., June 26. $250. Harding Park, 99 Harding Rd., S.F. www.sfpride. org/event/inaugural-san-fran cisco-pride-golf-tournament

OTHER EVENTS

particular restaurant and you will be asked, “I hope you had the Veal Parmesan. It’s the only decent entrée on the menu.”

Naturally, you didn’t order it. Or if you did, you will be questioned further. “What night were you there? — Too bad that’s Chef Maurice’s only night off. I understand the busboy takes over.”

Fortunately, most world travelers are unfamiliar with the vacation spas visited by this family each summer. I’m waiting for them: You ate at McDonald’s; you should have tried the A and W.

This column originally appeared in The San Francisco Chronicle June 7, 1973. Accelerate Peace Conference A gathering of grassroots interfaith peace builders, policy experts and religious leaders, as well as representatives from the United Nations and international and interfaith organizations around themes of empowerment, environmental sustainability and addressing violence. 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Wed-Thurs., June 26-27. $75; Circles of Light Gala honoring George P. Schultz and Charlotte Mailliard Schultz, 5:30 p.m. Wed., June 26. $250. Hoover Institution, Stanford University, 435 Lasuen Mall, Stanford. https://uri.org/peace

Japan Week and Japan Day Festival A week of activities, performances, workshops and more culminating with the Japan Day Festival. Japan Week runs June 23-30. See website for full schedule. Festival Noon-4:30 p.m. Sun., June 30. Peace Plaza and East Mall, Japantown, S.F. https:// japancentersf.com/events/ Runway in the Redwoods A nature-inspired fashion show fundraiser featuring botanically designed themes and the use of natural fibers and plant-based dyes. Proceeds benefit UC Botanical Garden. 4-6 p.m. Sun., June 23. $75$85. UC Botanical Garden, 200 Centennial Dr., Berkeley. https://botanicalgarden. berkeley.edu/

S.F. Design Week 2019 A celebration of design themed “CommUNITY” with interactive exhibits, product displays, installations and talks, awards ceremony with silent auction, and more. Through Fri., June 28. The Hub at Pier 27, S.F. https://sfdesignweek.org/ TreasureFest The June installment of the open-air flea market has a “Summer of Love” theme and features arts and crafts vendors, food and drink, live music, children’s activitites and more. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sat.-Sun., June 29-30. $3-$7. 500 Avenue N., Treasure Island. www.treasure fest.com