Caregivers play key role, need support

Caregiving can be the most misunderstood yet all encompassing aspect of aging. Both the giving of care and receiving it are intimate and often emotional situations for both sides. It is also an essential and natural part of the aging process. While it’s nearly inescapable and tremendously demanding, just what caregiving entails can be vague and confusing.

“A caregiver is any person who is helping care for the senior,” said John Schall, CEO of the nonprofit Caregiver Action Network. “That could be everything from helping them handle their medications to transportation to and from doctor’s offices, meal preparation and nutrition and helping them with mobility issues.”

Schall points out there are also less specific but equally important elements such as providing emotional support and companionship.

“There’s a full spectrum of things that a family caregiver can and does do for the loved ones,” Schall said.

The caregiver doesn’t have to be a related family member as friends, partners or people who are geographically close to the senior can assume the role.

The Caregiver Action Network has a free virtual Help Desk, which can be a onestop place to find resources. It provides direction with a variety of issues from depression screening, finding support groups or information about gaining power of attorney. They also have a toll free number at 8552273640.

Alison Moritz of the Institute on Aging said that most often the caregivers are women — spouses and adult daughters. She also points out

“Family caregivers end up being very focused on their loved one, very focused on the patient, making sure that the care for the loved one is as good as it can get.”

John Schall, CEO of the nonprofit Caregiver Action Network

that caregivers don’t necessarily have to provide specific services.

“( It’s) whoever the emotional burden falls on. If you’re emotionally invested you’re the caregiver,” Moritz said.

The nonprofit Institute on Aging has a comprehensive series of programs supporting their mission to “enhance the quality of life for aging adults.” They provide home care and support services, dementia enrichment and a Friendship Line among their many services.

Caregiving can be as basic as sitting with the person to help them avoid isolation and provide companionship. It also includes serious kinds of home care normally associated with professional caregivers but in fact, a lot of family caregivers have been doing at home.

One the biggest challenges caregivers feel is that of isolation, the sense they are doing this on their own.

“The act of caregiving puts you in a silo and there’s an “I’ve got this!” mentality or a reluctance to reach out and get help,” Moritz said.

Schall agrees saying it is ironic considering how many are actually caregivers of some kind.

“Really two out of every five adults is doing some family caregiving responsibilities,”

Caregivers can be family, friends or neighbors and they often provide companionship for seniors.

Schall said. “When you’re doing it, you feel very isolated. It’s that feeling of isolation, being alone in this challenge, that is very common among family caregivers and takes a real toll psychologically on the person being the caregiver.”

The challenge is getting caregivers to see that they need care as well.

“Family caregivers end up being very focused on their loved one, very focused on the patient, making sure that the care for the loved one is as good as it can get,” Schall said. “They’re not really thinking about their own emotional needs, their own ability to get support and where to get it.”

Yet this is one of the top three issues staffers at the Caregiver Network help desk deal with and hear from people.

“So often it’s simply ‘ I just needed someone to talk to,’” Schall said.

Family caregivers are twice

as likely to suffer depression as noncaregivers.

“If you’re a wife and you’re a family caregiver of your husband, studies show you’re actually six times more likely to suffer from depression than a noncaregiving wife,” Schall said.

There are three essential elements to healthy caregiving — getting support, educating themselves and getting respite, Moritz said. She stresses that support groups are not therapy sessions.

“It’s really about meeting other people who are going through a similar experience as you — sharing laughs, resources, knowing that you’re not alone in the experience — it absolutely helps with that isolation of caregiving,” she said.

Closely related to the feelings of depression is a sense of anger often because many caregivers can’t control the situation they find themselves in and feel helpless because

they didn’t ask for it.

“We make sure that either through the help desk or through our online care form, we can talk to other caregivers confidentially, anonymously, however they need to do it,” Moritz said. “Where you can vent those feelings, have other people say, ‘ Yes, you know, I experienced the same thing. Here’s how I dealt with it.’”

Guilt happens in a similar fashion because caregivers often feel as though they are not doing enough for their loved one.

“You got to get over that guilt because if you’re not caring for yourself you’re just going to get sick and then we’re going to have two people to care for,” Schall said.

Moritz implores caregivers to reach out and get help.

“That’s the biggest barrier that people aren’t asking for help,” Moritz said. “I think people burn out a lot more quickly than they realize then it’s too late.”

SHUTTERSTOCK