Annette “Nussie” Sutton

February 13, 1930 - March 26, 2021

Annette Sutton died of lung cancer in her Foster City home on March 26th. She had a lovely and peaceful death, with her daughter Ellen holding one hand, and her son Bob holding the other, as she took her last breath.

Nuss traveled through her 91 years with a zest for life and irreverence that infected--and sometimes annoyed--friends, family, and total strangers. She showered love on her friends and family. Nuss cared for and fed us (always way too much) hearty homemade food. She made us laugh with her sarcasm and disdain for snotty and phony people. And no matter what advice we or anyone else offered, Nuss did pretty much as she pleased.

Nuss’s birth certificate says that she was born Ennette Grudsky in Chicago, on February 13th, 1930 in Chicago, Illinois. Her parents, first-generation Russian immigrants David Grudsky and Ida Saul Grudsky, soon changed her name to Annette. Then, when a caregiver gave her the nickname “Nussie,” it stuck, and that was what most people called her. Nuss always celebrated her birthday on February 12th rather than the 13th because her parents insisted that the doctor had put the wrong date on her official birth certificate.

Nuss attended the Chicago Art Institute on a scholarship as a teenager and then attended University of Illinois at Champaign. She dropped out of college after being swept off her feet by a young World War II veteran, Lewis Sutton. Lew and Nuss soon had two children, Ellen Beth (Sutton) Cook and Robert Ian Sutton. Nuss devoted her life to raising her kids, taking care of family and her friends, and anyone else who happened to walk into her house. They lived in Chicago and Skokie Illinois through the 1950s, and then spent the rest of their lives in Northern California, where Lew and Nuss moved in 1963 to escape the Midwestern winters. Nuss and Lew were married in 1949 and were devoted soulmates until Lew died in 2005--Nuss, ever stubborn and self-sufficient, provided Lew with full-time care during the final years of his life, refusing to accept help from family, friends, or caregivers. Nuss supported Lew in various unsuccessful, unsafe, and successful business adventures during their long marriage. In the 1950s, Lew founded two failed restaurants in Chicago. Nuss, who was very careful with money and counted (literally) every penny, refused to declare bankruptcy after these failures and spent years paying off the restaurants’ creditors at a rate of just a few dollars a month. Then, in the early 1960s, Nuss supported Lew when he co-founded a business in Chicago that supplied vending machines with candy and cigarettes. She soon insisted that Lew leave the business, however, when he and his partner were threatened with violence by organized-crime figures, who viewed the little new company as a competitor to their operations (Lew’s partner stayed on and did get his legs broken as a result).

Ultimately, the extended success of Lew’s San Francisco-based government subcontracting company, Oceanic Marine, enabled the Sutton family to enjoy a comfortable middle-class life from the late 1960s to Lew’s retirement in the 1990s. Nuss also worked part-time at the Emporium at the Hillsdale Shopping Center in San Mateo for many years selling clothing for little boys, and later, as a volunteer at Mills Hospital in San Mateo. Nuss and Lew enjoyed many vacations to Hawaii, where they had a ridiculous amount of fun and made several ill-advised investments including the purchase of a condominium in an ill-fated complex in Molokai and a little sketch that was purported to be an authentic Rembrandt (but is probably fake).

Nuss and Lew loved to spoil their grandchildren. Nuss gave her children, and later, her grandchildren, unconditional love and always took their side (even when they didn’t deserve it). And she taught them not to compare themselves to others and to appreciate people who are kind and generous.

Nuss loved her Yellow Tail chardonnay, insisted on feeding you way too much of her magnificent brisket and potato latkes, and always remembered to have your favorite food and drink on hand when you visited. We will miss her quirky sense of humor, laughter at inappropriate times (including at the “wrong” moments during funerals and weddings), irreverence and defiance of authority, expert application of oh-so-subtle Jewish guilt, and abundant and raucous happy hours.

Her mother Ida, father David, and sisters Nettie (Grudsky) Willis and Eleanor (Grudsky) Singer died years before Nuss, as have most of her close friends. Nuss is survived by her children Ellen (Tom Cook) and Robert (Marina Park Sutton). By her grandchildren Jeremy Daniel Cook (Rupa Nath Cook), Megan Elizabeth Cook (Hari Vasu), Tyler Samuel Sutton, Claire Helene Sutton, and Eve Marjorie Sutton, great grandchildren Kamran Nath Cook and Ayden Nath Cook, niece Sheri Singer, and numerous nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews.

Nuss is also survived by Jerry Kosro, her loving partner. Nuss spent the final few years of her life dating and then living with Jerry. They had a heck of a lot of fun together.

Nuss’s family thanks everyone who was so helpful during her final weeks. Their love and support enabled her to stay at home and receive their tender care until her final days and hours. We are grateful to Dan Bishop from Right at Home and the angels Cecille, Jhing, Lee, and Wilhelmina who cared for Nuss and Jerry. We thank Sutter Health Hospice, especially Nuss’s nurse Emilie, nurse practitioner Linda, and social worker Andrea. We will always be grateful to her primary care physician Dr. Williston, who cared for Nuss for more than 25 years, and who drove Nuss from her office to the hospital when she realized how ill Nuss was.

The family will hold a small private ceremony. In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to one of the many charities that Nuss supported. Her favorite organizations include Girl Scouts of Northern California, Habitat for Humanity, and Paralyzed Veterans of America.