San Francisco Chronicle - (Sunday)
Ask Mick LaSalle: One year on an island, one movie franchise.
Movie man Mick: If you were to spend a year on an island and could only take one movie franchise — minimum of five films — which franchise would it be and why? Robert Freud Bastin, Petaluma
Movie man Robert: James Bond. They’re not my favorite movies, but franchises tend to be scifi, and I never watch scifi in my off hours, even when stuck on an island.
The Bond movies aren’t scifi and — big advantage — there are 26 of them. Twentysix to last me a whole year? That’s not bad. Plus, unlike the “Thin Man” franchise (my first runnerup), they’re not confined to a small span of time, but were rather made over the course of half a century. There’d be a lot of evolving cultural stuff to notice, plus the changes of the various actors.
Here’s the biggest advantage: I haven’t even seen every Bond movie, so there will be a few left to discover. Of course, it’s true that most Bond films aren’t very good, but it’s also true that they never fall below a certain level. They’d make a nice subject for a book, actually, if the field weren’t so picked over already.
Hi Mick: I read your column where you mentioned getting a house in France. How come France and not Italy? Have you been to the Dordogne region in France? Beautiful there. Melodie Kennedy, Menlo Park
Hi Melodie: I like France and Italy for different reasons. Even though my French is better than my Italian at this point, I have more of a natural affinity for the Italian language. I love Italian people and feel a kinship with them (I’m 94% Italian, according to Ancestry.com), yet generally, I prefer French culture. France is just more functional. There’s less bureaucracy.
A few years ago, in Venice, the city allowed a huge sunglasses advertisement (featuring James Franco) to be plastered across the entire facade of the Palazzo Ducale. French people would set themselves on fire before they’d permit such an abomination. Also, France is beautiful in more places. For example, the contrast between Tuscany and Dordogne: Tuscany is beautiful, but the hill towns are mostly surrounded by modern Italy. The Dordogne, on the other hand, is beautiful in its entirety, wherever you turn your head.
Dear Mick: Do you have any advice for a man, age 39, in the throes of a midlife crisis? Asking for a friend. Marty Parker, Chico
Dear Marty: Sure, he can do what I did. What worked for me was listening to Eminem. At 45, I suddenly became obsessed. I bought all of Eminem’s albums, but that wasn’t enough, so I read books about him. Then I bought eight CD bootlegs of all his unreleased stuff. Then I started getting into everybody affiliated with Eminem — Obie Trice, 50 Cent, Dr. Dre, D12, Proof, Bizarre, plus Tupac and Biggie, who’d influenced him. I was cranking this music around the clock, blasting it in my car with the windows down, insisting friends listen to various songs, making visiting relatives watch “8 Mile,” and getting all choked up when Eminem released the poignant single “When I’m Gone.” I was turning into “Stan.”
The height of this came when I went home to Staten Island, N.Y., and found myself explaining to my elderly mother details of the beef between Eminem and Ray Benzino as the prelude to playing to her, backtoback, the songs they wrote dissing each other! (I must be a chip off the old block — she liked it.)
Anyway, after a year of this, the obsession faded. I felt less angry, even though I hadn’t even known I’d been angry. I still think Eminem is great, but that music ceased to be an analogue for my mental state.
Have a question? Ask Mick LaSalle at mlasalle@sfchronicle.com. Include your name and city for publication, and a phone number for verification. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.