Raymond Leo DeVita

matchmaking, Ray reconnected with the Girard St. neighbor of his youth - Irene. A borrowed postage stamp, a spark, and a martini at the House of Prime Rib, began for them a 47-year marriage & love affair, defined by support and devotion, that withstood every imaginable test - and a few impossible to imagine.

Irene was all he ever wanted - but she didn’t arrive without baggage. She was the mother of two independent teenage children, both quick to challenge authority. Stoically, Ray accepted the challenge. From the moment he entered my mother’s life, he did the dirty work that comes with being a father. He assumed all responsibilities. His money became our money. He paid the mortgage. He paid the bills. He paid for private high school, college, and law school - and he did it all with a quiet, humble class.

Early on, they enjoyed memorable summer gatherings of family and friends in beautiful Twain Harte. Years later, Ray & Irene built their dream cabin in the big trees of Arnold, CA. When not entertaining, it was their place of refuge. A place where they could escape - and peacefully enjoy the beauty of their marriage.

Irene, however, wasn’t Ray’s only love. In the late 1950s, as a season-ticket holder, Ray began a nearly 60-year relationship with the San Francisco 49ers. Their courtship began at old Kezar Stadium with Tittle, Owens & McElhenny. Their relationship grew during the John Brody years, and when the 49ers moved to Candlestick, Ray moved with them. Together they survived the horrible teams of the ‘70s and celebrated their long-awaited championships of the Walsh/Montana ‘80s. Ray loyally stayed with the 49ers, through good times and bad, until they left him for Santa Clara in 2014.

Ray’s bookshelves overflowed. I believe spy novels and historical fiction were his favorites, but so long as it had words and a jacket, he would give it a read. For Ray, a book was always a valued present. And although his golf game wasn’t aesthetically pleasing, he played frequently. He enjoyed few things more than teeing it up with Al Lucchesi in Lincoln Golf Course’s morning chill. My stepfather loved being around people. His active club affiliations gave testimony. When Irene and Ray first married, he was headmaster at South San Francisco’s Masonic Lodge - making my mother the Lodge’s first lady. With her status came the job of preparing dinner for 200+ members & wives. She questioned whether his intention was simply to find a battle-tested cook. He was a Native Son of California, a president of St. Elizabeth’s Over 50 Club, and a free-pouring bartender at Potrero Hill’s Monte Christo Club.

Ray had friends, and made friends, everywhere he went - more than I’ll ever know. My mother said wherever they went, people she’d never seen - nor heard of would shake Ray’s hand and share a laugh.

They dined frequently at the Gold Mirror or the Basque Club with their close friends, Vic & Dee, and Al & Millie. But there were many others - Don & Barbara, Elaine & Merv, Diane & Jack, Bruna & Pete, Mary Jane & Leo, to name a few.

If there was one constant in my stepfather’s life, it was service to others. To his wife. To his children. To his employer, club members, and friends. If you needed help, or an errand to be run - he was always there.

In conclusion, I have only this: Ray DeVita gave without taking - and he will be missed terribly.

My stepfather is survived by his wife, Irene, children, Anna Lisa and Tim, sister Diane, and her son, Scott. He is also survived by too many nieces, nephews, grandnieces, grandnephews, cousins, etc. to comfortably name.

A Funeral Mass will be held at 10 AM on Friday, October 8, at St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church, 459 Somerset St., San Francisco 94134. All are welcome to attend.