Anita Marquez Fay

Anita Marquez Fay would be the first to say that she had a wonderful life. Anita, nicknamed “the Bride” by her husband, Paul B. “Red” Fay, Jr, died peacefully at home in Woodside, California, on January 5, 2022. She was 97 years old.

Anita was born in San Francisco, to, Ruth Finn Marcus and William Arthur Marcus, becoming a 3rd generation Californian. She grew up in Mill Valley, California, and spent summers up in the Sierra Nevada Mountains at the family cabins on Long Lake. She attended the Dominican Convent, now called San Domenico, in San Rafael. She later attended Miss Burke’s in San Francisco, where she received her high school diploma. She attended Marin College.

“Anita was the most beautiful woman to come out of Marin county,” says Curt Hayden, a close family friend. She was known for her outgoing personality and positive spirit. She was a member of, and a model, for The Junior League, an organization of women promoting volunteerism. She proudly served as one of the first nurse’s aides at Torney General Hospital in Palm Springs during WW II. She was a member of the Stanford Convalescent Home Junior Auxiliary, the Golden Gate Kindergarten Association Auxiliary, and a volunteer at Sunny Hills. In June of 1946, mutual friends set Anita up with the charismatic Paul B. “Red” Fay, Jr. From that first date they had together, attending a basketball game, with the same friends, she was given the nickname, “The Bride.”

Anita and Red were married on October 5th, 1946, and the two were affectionately known to their family and friends as “The Bride and The Redhead” forevermore.

Life for Anita would take on an added excitement when her husband was appointed Undersecretary of the Navy in the administration of Red’s WWII PT boat buddy, then President, John Fitzgerald Kennedy. In February of 1961, the family, Anita and Red, and children, Kathy, Paul and Sally, moved to Mclean, Va. Anita and Red were part of those hopeful, glamourous, and bright years.

Anita had a passion for art and took up oil painting as a hobby while in the east. When Anita and her family returned home to San Francisco, she became active in supporting arts organizations. She served on the Board of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art and the Women’s Board of the San Francisco Art Institute. In addition, she was on the Board of the northern chapter of ARCS (Achievement Rewards for College Scientists). Anita, also, had an interior decorating business, Fay/Powell.

Ever active, enthusiastic and outgoing, Anita, enjoyed tennis, horseback riding, swimming and exercise classes. She attended In Shape classes in San Francisco, into her more mature years, inspiring many of the younger women doing the exercises beside her. She was an avid bridge player into her 80’s. She continued to play dominoes right into her 97th year.

When turning 50, Anita went to the trouble of turning her maiden name back to the original Peruvian spelling, from Marcus to Marquez.

She loved to dance with her Redhead, the love of her life, at the many family parties celebrating their wedding anniversaries, or a birthday, in a tent over their tennis court with a swing band on a dais at their Woodside home called “Paradise.” One year, the Bride surprised family and friends with a special tribute to her husband, re-writing the lyrics of,”The Lady is a Tramp,” with her version; “The Redhead is a Champ.” Year after year after year, Anita would step up to the microphone with her most beautiful smile and sparkling eyes and sing her signature song.

Anita had a happy life with lots of friends. She adored her children and grandchildren.

“Count your blessings.” “Think.” “There by the Grace of God go I.” These were the phrases Anita often repeated to her three children and her seven grandchildren. Those, and the one heard more than all the others was, “I love you.” All these teachings will survive.

Our world will miss the ever glamourous, always fun and full of love, Anita Marquez Fay. Those who knew and loved her, count their blessings, that she was a part of their lives.

She is predeceased by her husband, Paul B. Fay, Jr.; her sister, Eva Jean Barker; her brother, William John Marcus. Anita is survived by three children, Katherine Fay (Hammonds) of Delray Beach, Florida; Paul B. Fay, III, (and daughter-in-law, Laura Merriam Fay), of San Francisco, California; Sally Fay Cottingham of San Francisco, California; and seven grandchildren, William Paul Hammonds; Natalie Fay Hammonds Sanderson (and her husband, Ry Sanderson); Alexandra Fay Baker (and her husband, Carson Baker); Francesca Fay Darling (and her husband, Charles Darling); Walter Christopher Fay Cottingham (and his wife, Arwen Tag); Katherine “Kerry” Cameron Cottingham (and her husband, Alex “Al” Tarnowicz); Charles Caldwell Cottingham (and his wife, Helen “Hellie” Hamilton Cottingham); and five great-grandchildren, Charles Tenney Baker; Scarlett Elizabeth Baker; Lucy Fay Baker; Charles M. Darling VI; and Blaise Florence Darling.

The family has the deepest, heartfelt gratitude to the devoted Caregivers who have been at their mother’s side; for 17 years, Andrea Madruga; for 14 years, Toaila Tuakoi; for 11 years, Tema Tuakoi Toto; for 5 years, Aura Aguilar; for 4 years, John Tuakoi; for 2 years, Corazon “Cori” De Guzman; Mary Lou Belloso; Josie Las Pinas; Gina Sabado; and Martha Morales. Special mention to Judy Fletcher who has been helping the family for 22 years.

There will be a private family burial. A Celebration of Anita will be determined. Donations in Anita’s name can be made to: Youth Tennis Advantage