Ronald Wagner

Ronald A. Wagner passed away in the early morning hours of May 23, 2022 of complications of cardiovascular disease. After a long battle without complaint, with a smile on his face and love all around him, his heart said – no more.

Ron was born and grew up in Oakland, CA where he attended Fremont High School. Ron loved all music, including Classical, big band, military marches and anything else he might play. His fascination with popular music led him to become a member of the National Guard Governor’s band at the age of 15 necessitating a severe overstatement of his age. His service was abruptly ended when the band was activated for duty in the Korean Conflict. His true age was revealed and he returned to high school. However, his love of music continued to influence him throughout his life as did his love of athletics.

Ron attended Stanford University on an academic scholarship, majoring in English History, and graduated in January 1956. As a freshman, he was the captain of the Freshman’s basketball team and reached his athletic peak. Thereafter, as a member of the varsity team, he watched his younger brother, Harold (Hap) Wagner, grow taller, excel at the game of basketball and star. Ron became his biggest fan.

At graduation and while awaiting orders for active duty in the U.S. Air Force, Ron learned that such orders might be delayed up to one year. He made a last-minute application to Stanford Law School and was accepted for immediate entry.

During his undergraduate days, Ron became a member of the Stardusters, a local dance band and became acquainted with George Yamasaki, a Stanford student from Hawaii who, in addition to playing the saxophone, was an accomplished piano man. When both Ron and George entered Law school, they reunited and for the next 40 years, shared the joy of playing as two of the Ron Wagner Quartet. They performed at charitable events and private personal events, one of the later ones being Ron’s own wedding in 1991 when he said his vows, cut the cake, kissed his bride and then disappeared into the band for the balance of the reception.

After graduation from law school and completion of three years as an Investigative Agent in the United States Air Force, Ron returned to Oakland, and began a 50-year legal career. He thrived with the challenge of the law, and he loved people. He adored mentoring young people, ranging from coaching pony league baseball while still in college, to training young lawyers as a senior partner of the large law firm. He taught law at the community college level and served on numerous boards providing for legal education and governance. .

In 1989, Ron left the large law firm and became Of Counsel to another firm. In doing so, he associated with Sandi Elstead, another Stanford alum and an attorney he had opposed on many occasions over the previous 14 years. Three years later, Ron & Sandi were married, and thereafter created the Law Office of Wagner & Wagner, which continued until their retirement in 2012.

Ron dreamed of giving back to Stanford for all of the benefits he had received and with the creation of a fully endowed athletic scholarship in 2002, he and Sandi, together with his brother and sister-in-law, started a lineage of young athletes who gifted him with the joy of watching young men grow into wonderful young adults.

Ron was pre-deceased by his first wife, Paddy, in 1989 and his brother, Harold, in 2016. He is survived by his loving wife, Sandi, his daughters, Wendy (Ken Walden) & Gretchen, his sister, Jeanne (Robin Strong), his sister-in -law, Marcia, together with grandchildren, Christopher, Jessica and Aeriss and numerous nieces, nephews and cousins. A special thank you is extended to Purnima Bhatt, a wonderful women who cared for Ron during the past 4 years, keeping him positive, motivated and always doing the maximum his body would allow. She was and remains a part of the family.

At his request, no services were held. Cherished friends have shared private moments of celebration of his wonderful life. If you otherwise choose to celebrate him, please consider a donation in his memory to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital or to your favorite charity.

Though he only spent the first two years of his life in Brooklyn, Jeff always considered himself a New Yorker at heart, and attributed his drive in life to the vibrancy of his birthplace. He would also become a lifelong Californian once his parents moved out west in 1960.

The son of a ‘Silicon Valley’ pioneer father and a dedicated mother turned outstanding poet, Jeff grew up surrounded by loving parents, an equally loving younger brother Greg, and a wonderful extended family spanning the Bay Area, the US, and Canada.

Jeff’s upbringing took place on tree-lined Los Altos streets chock-full of friends, near apricot orchards and creeks where he would go on what he called ‘adventures.’ Jeff was passionate about a lot of things, and that meant studying them in great depth. He raised pigeons as a child, knew his cars’ engines inside and out, fully experienced every note at the many Grateful Dead shows he attended, tuned keenly into the natural world while on hikes, and expressed himself through photography, just to name a few of his vast and varied interests.

His passions extended into academics as well: after initially studying Math at Humboldt State University, he graduated with a B.S. in Biology, went on to earn a Master’s in Entomology from UC Riverside, and then a Master’s in Molecular Biology from Stanford University. He pivoted once more; earning a Master’s in Psychology from JFK University and becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. Later on, he started the rigorous process of becoming a Psychoanalyst, graduating in 2017 from the San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis. A few years later, he would become a Faculty Member at the Center, rekindling his love of teaching, discovered initially in his 20’s.

Those who knew Jeff are quick to call him a scholar, though he was too modest to embrace that moniker. He just saw himself as a regular guy, preferring white t-shirts and jeans over fancy work clothes any day. All his family and friends agree: Jeff shone with his brilliance, wit, thoughtfulness, and impeccable ethics.

For all his passions in life, nothing brought Jeff joy like fatherhood: in 2006, Jeff and his wife Sophie welcomed a son, Nathan. Jeff’s deep and loving gaze was never more beautiful than when he was with Nathan. They shared many interests, and better yet, they shared sensibilities.

Throughout the different chapters of his life, it is impossible to know how many people, and especially patients, Jeff touched, enlightened, and helped. People like Jeff make the world a better, sweeter place.

So in December 2021, when Jeff was diagnosed with an aggressive type of cancer, he felt great sorrow at having to abruptly close the psychotherapy and psychoanalysis practice that, over the course of more than 20 years, had brought him deep meaning.

On August 5, Jeff passed away after a fittingly fierce battle with cancer. He died at home, surrounded by his closest family, and the wonderful hospice nurse Gabby Jimenez, in an atmosphere of deep love, respect, and kindness. Mission Hospice played an extraordinary role in Jeff’s life, care, and passing. Jeff is survived by his brother, his wife of twenty years, his teenage son, his extended family, and countless friends.

If you would like to make a donation on Jeff’s behalf, his wish was that donations be made to Mission Hospice and Home Care: https://www.missionhospice. org