Mary Ellen Struve Martinelli

July 28, 1926 - September 11, 2022

Mary Ellen Struve Martinelli, activist member of the Alanon Family Groups, tireless advocate for gay rights, Mother for Peace, and supporter of the Japanese American Citizens League (JACL), passed away at Carmel Valley Manor on September 11, 2022 at the age of 96 surrounded by her loving children.

She was active in the Public Information Branch of Alanon for 10 years, speaking on “Alcoholism, The Family Disease” to the Santa Cruz Ministerial Association, UC Santa Cruz Alcohol Studies Classes, Dominican Hospital Adrian Center Recovery Programs “Family Week” and continuing education classes for nurses. She had been a “friend of Bill W” since 1971.

The Briggs Initiative, a California proposition that would ban men and women because of their sexual orientation from teaching in public schools, drew her attention. Mary Ellen connected with a New York City group known as “Parents of Gays,” later to become an international group known as Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). She answered a national information hotline from her kitchen desk for the next seventeen years supporting and educating other families during the AIDS crisis.

Her dedication to alcoholism education continued with a 10 year commitment to the Santa Cruz Alcohol Advisory board, where during her tenure one of her greatest satisfactions was helping to establish the Fenix Family Alcohol Services, the first in Watsonville. On their 10th anniversary, Fenix Services honored her for Distinguished Service.

With regret, she had to resign from the Board to care for her terminally ill son, Charles Hilary Martinelli, who died in 1990.

A new chapter in her activism began when she was invited to join a group who were interested in forming a local chapter of PFLAG in Santa Cruz County. Soon she was assisting the development of a chapter at the Monterey Unitarian Universalist Church. Active in both counties, she remained on the Board of Directors until her mid-80s.

She later joined other community members to create the Pajaro Valley Unified School District’s first Gay, Lesbian and Allies Task Force, whose goal was to train teachers and staff in diversity and respect for all students, regardless of orientation.

To share her personal experience as a mother of a gay son, she became an original member of the Triangle Speakers, who spoke in schools and churches throughout Santa Cruz County.

At the Santa Cruz Gay Pride Celebration, she was honored by both the Mayor and the Santa Cruz County Board of Supervisors as the “Mother of the Local Gay Community.”

In 2000, Mary Ellen moved to the Carmel Valley Manor. That same year she joined a memoir writing group in the Carmel Valley Village, where she developed dear friends and a degree of writing skill that gave her great joy in her final years.

Born in Watsonville, she was a fourth generation descendant of Hans Christian Struve, a Danish farmer who made his way from Schleswig-Holstein to the Pajaro Valley in the mid-1800’s. A graduate of Moreland Notre Dame Academy and Watsonville High, she attended the University of Oregon and was a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma. She returned to the Pajaro Valley to marry Charles Leask Martinelli, exchanging vows in Monterey at the royal Presidio Chapel (now San Carlos Cathedral).

Mary Ellen is survived by her daughter Ellen Leask Martinelli of Reno, son and daughter-in-law Gregory Struve Martinelli and Lois Leatherman of New York City, grandson Max Daniel Martinelli, wife Meredith Harrison and great-granddaughter Adele Harrison Martinelli of Chicago, grandson Samuel Adam Martinelli and wife Sarah Warnock of New York City. Also surviving are nieces and nephews including Kathleen Boyle, Constance Boyle Dratz and husband Ed, Teresa Boyle Knox, and niece Caity and nephew Andrew, Jeffrey Chandler, Douglas Chandler, Mark Chandler and wife Jan, Julie Chandler Suave and husband David. She also leaves many nieces, nephews and cousins in the Martinelli family who were very dear to her, including Trish and Brandon Kett, Chrissy Grul, and her dear friend Ed Powell, as well as Fr. Patrick J. Dooling, and Fr. Tom Weston, S.J.

She is predeceased by her parents Elmer and Mary Struve, sisters Jeanne Struve Chandler and Lorraine Struve Boyle Litchfield, son Charles Hilary Martinelli, and her husband Charles Leask Martinelli.

Her ashes will join those of her husband in Monterey Bay.

Per Mary Ellen’s request there will be no services.

Memorial contributions may be sent in her memory to:

Villa Maria del Mar Retreat Center 2-1918 East Cliff Drive, Santa Cruz, California 95062