Ruth Rymer

June 2, 1931 - September 15, 2022

Patricia Ruth Rymer, a fierce advocate for women and children, was born in Denver, Colorado on June 2nd, 1931. She was the oldest of four children.

From a very young age, Ruth was exposed to courtrooms and the practice of the law. Her father was a psychiatrist, and frequently called upon to deliver expert testimony in court, and Ruth attended many of these trials. It was those early experiences that shaped the direction she was to take her life. She decided she wanted to be an attorney because “lawyers get to walk around the courtroom and ask the questions”. However, she had a long road ahead of her.

Following high school, Ruth spent her freshman year at Mills College in Oakland California. She then moved back to Colorado for her second year, enrolling in the University of Colorado at Boulder. Ruth met her first husband, Sherwin Miller at UC, and they eloped and were married in New Mexico in 1951, when Ruth was just 20 years of age.

Sadly, Ruth’s parents were deeply against her marriage to Mr. Miller, and she was disowned by her parents solely because Mr. Miller was Jewish. She was subsequently alienated from her entire family for nearly 30 years. Despite “losing” her family, Ruth worked hard so that Sherwin could attend medical school and put her plans of higher education on hold. Three children followed the marriage, Nevin, Stefanie and Trevis.

Following the birth of her children, Ruth was finally able to focus on becoming an attorney. She enrolled at the Golden Gate School of Law in the mid 1960’s, at a time when few women were entering the practice of law. She graduated second in her class, and sixth overall in the history of the school, and became a lawyer in 1971.

Following her divorce from Dr. Miller, she began a long-term relationship with Floyd J. Jones.

As one of few women attorneys, Ruth found herself naturally drawn to marital disputes where women and children were often poorly represented. Over the next 10 years she was instrumental in the Practice of Law recognizing Family Law as a specialty.

In just her 6th year of practice she was elected as the President of the Queen’s Bench, an association of women attorneys in Northern California, and of the NorCal Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. She authored a friend of the court brief in the now famous Lee Marvin palimony case and was deeply involved in having the courts recognize the rights of women (and of children) in divorce cases. Ruth also chaired the Family Law Commission for the California Board of Legal Specialization. The Best Lawyers in America listed Ruth Rymer twelve times. In 1996 she was awarded a Ph.D. for her study of divorce and the fight of women for their “lives, safety, sanity and status.”

She and Floyd Jones were eventually married after Ruth was satisfied that the courts were – in her mind finally treating women with respect. Floyd Jones passed away within just a few years of their marriage.

She subsequently married her third husband, Ron Borden – a long-time friend and colleague from the practice of law. They were together until Ron’s death in 2018.

Ruth was the author of four books; the lay text California Divorce: Through the Legal Maze, two novels, Susannah, A Lawyer: From Tragedy to Triumph, and Perfect Clarity: A Novel about our Male-Dominated Misogynist Society and Four Women who Fought Back. Her recently published autobiography, Raising the Bar, is available for purchase on Amazon. Raising the Bar is a truly remarkable story about overcoming adversity and making a difference.

Ruth is survived by a brother, Robbie Rymer, and a sister, Sue Gordon. Her third sibling, Carol Davis lost her life in a hot air balloon race. She leaves behind two children, her son Nevin Lane Miller, and her daughter Stefanie Joan Miller. Tragically, Trevis Miller died in an accident in 1983. Nevin is married to Rebecca Miller, and they have two grown children, Dylan, and Westin Miller. Westin is married to Amy Miller. Finally, Ruth lived long enough to meet her only great-grandchild, Evelyn May Miller - daughter of Westin and Amy – born on January 1st of 2022.

A celebration of her life will be held in San Rafael, California, on November 19th, 2022. Ruth was truly a remarkable woman who positively impacted the lives of countless people, and she will be deeply missed by all who knew her.