Elizabeth Lawler Ashley

July 2, 1926 - December 1, 2022

Elizabeth (Betty) Lawler Ashley passed away peacefully on December 1, 2022, at the age of 96 at Villa Marin in San Rafael.

Born in San Francisco on July 2, 1926, to parents John Lawler, a prominent San Francisco businessman and rancher and Edna Shores Lawler, an extraordinary pianist, teacher and composer, Betty was a true San Franciscan, living most of her life in the city she adored.

She attended Sarah Dix Hamlin School where she was class president, editor of the newspaper and student body president. The friends she made as a young girl remained close to her throughout her life.

In the 1940s her father purchased property in Fairfield where he raised and bred cattle. There were horses, pomegranate, peach, pear and walnut trees and a grand ranch house which served as a gathering place for many family events.

Summers were spent in Mill Valley where she would ride on horseback to greet her father’s train at the Depot and then back to their summer house in West Blithedale Canyon. Horses were a big part of her life, even in San Francisco where the family boarded horses in Golden Gate Park, riding on weekends when the weather was pleasant.

She attended UC Berkeley and was an active member of the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority where she established close friendships that would last her lifetime. She graduated in 1947 with a degree in Economics.

Around 1950 she serendipitously met her future husband, a handsome and charming young man, Kirk Ashley, when he showed up at her parents’ house to pick up his date, a friend of Betty’s, who was staying there. The young woman was running late, and she and Kirk started chatting and one thing led to another. They were married on August 9, 1952, and so began a long-lasting loving 44-year relationship until Kirk’s death in 1996.

Betty and Kirk had two children, Rea and Elizabeth Hope who were raised in the city and enjoyed time at the ranch in Fairfield as well as summers at Lake Tahoe. A pack trip to the back country of Yosemite was a yearly summer event and yes there were horses involved. She was a skilled fly fisher woman and wasn’t opposed to getting her hands dirty, sleeping outdoors under the stars and not showering for a couple of weeks!

A gracious hostess who really understood and loved the art of entertaining, no holiday or special event went uncelebrated. Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter holidays brought family members together for many years as she was the glue that held the family together.

Betty volunteered for and was a member of numerous charity groups and social clubs in San Francisco; Children’s Hospital, Junior League, Metropolitan and Franciscan Clubs, to name only a few. You couldn’t walk with her downtown without running into one of her acquaintances.

She and Kirk traveled extensively. She loved the theatre, symphony, ballet and opera, regularly attending performances in San Francisco, London, New York and Ashland. The last 15 years of Kirk’s life, they ventured annually to New Zealand for 6 weeks of fly-fishing adventures. There were no horses involved, only sheep :-)

She loved her family and friends, and they all loved her. She adored her grandchildren Joren and Graeme.

Recently she said to me “Had I known I was going to live this long, I wouldn’t have taken such good care of myself”. When I asked, “Mom what would you have done differently?”, she replied, “nothing dear”. She had a wonderful sense of humor, an optimistic outlook on life and the most beautiful smile- all of which served her well throughout her long life.

Betty is survived by her son, Rea Ashley (Phoebe Nichols), her twin grandsons Joren and Graeme Ashley and numerous nieces, nephews and cousins. She is predeceased by her husband Rea Kirklin Ashley, daughter Elizabeth Hope Ashley and brothers John and Glen Lawler.

At the behest of the deceased, no services are planned.